Sterling Archer 🇵🇹

What a great day. Quite possibly the greatest day of my entire life.

People be like “I remember when haircuts were $10.” Yeah I do too.

When Adam was lonely, God gave him one woman. -Not a man. -Not a one-night stand. -Not multiple women. Just Eve.

Is £3000 p/m enough for you to quit your 9/5?

Name one song you wish was longer.

It’s hard to believe this era was real

How do you politely tell someone they’re overweight?

“Your music saved me” Which artist would you say this to?

Manchester United fans, pick your 3 preferred midfield options below. Bruno Guimaraes Adam Wharton Elliot Anderson Carlos Baleba Mateus Fernandes Sandro Tonali

Declan Rice up early in the morning. That's what a captain should do. Meanwhile, your favourite pampered selfish Hale End boy is still having sex.

At least our quadruple charge lasted until the final day of the season, Arsenal's is over at the first time of asking 😭😭😭

You know how good it feels working out in the morning again?

Whether it’s a 0/10 or 10/10 performance I do not care. I’d give up my wife and kids for you it’s as simple as that. TILL THE FUCKING END.

I didn’t even know this was a thing. Texture vs. taste: have you ever disliked a food purely because of how it feels, even though the flavor was actually good?

You deserve more Arsenal fans 💔