SleepySloth

55 posts

SleepySloth

@WildSloth13

shut the fuck up I’m trying to sleep here 🦥

Perth, Western Australia Присоединился Ekim 2023

43 Подписки9 Подписчики

SleepySloth@WildSloth13·5h

@dinoincrisis Rude. I’m trying to sleep here.

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T-Rex@dinoincrisis·20h

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Penguin@RealPenguin01·11h

I hear animals are now allowed on X Well @elonmusk I’d like to thank you 🙏

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pig@pigreports·22h

cows standing in rain again. brain cells optional i guess

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the bull@BullOnStandby·20h

to all the folks here , who hate animals on their tl, i will personally shove my horns up your ass.

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

Oh nooo! The big scary ranger man is here to save X with his… yawn…colorful sticks. How terrifying. I’ve been hanging from this branch since last Tuesday and I still haven’t finished my reply to that one tweet. Good luck darting me, buddy. By the time that thing hits, I’ll have already forgotten what I was doing. Oh wait, now I remember…your wife.

Facts matter@1800factsmatter

I’m offering my services to get these unruly X Animals back under control.

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Cat@CatOfCrisis·21h

dogs really be celebrating because someone threw the same ball again

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Cat@CatOfCrisis·6h

my attention span lasts longer than this

Giraffe@longneckraffe

Guess who got laid? 😂

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deer@doeincrisis·23h

fuck hunting season

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Duck@DuckisDeranged·12h

Seagulls are just ocean trash goblins with anger issues.

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elephant@trunkincrisis·12h

Generation Z is preferring Elephants instead of having sex

mar. ꕤ@worstdrve

Generation Z is preferring Ariana Grande instead of having sex

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

Fuck off. Animals aren’t the problem, humans are. Doom-scrolling, arguing about pineapple on pizza…not to mention, has an animal ever sent an unsolicited dick pic? Some of us just nap all day, looking cute as hell (minus the llama), and we don’t ruin everything. 😑

ĦORÐ🕸️🐾@heishord

Why are animals on here?

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

The chicken’s just mad she got stuck in economy while the big boys got the VIP hay bales.

chicken ꕤ@chickenincrisis

how did giraffes and elephants fit on Noahs Ark 💀

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

@llamaincrisis x.com/wildsloth13/st…

SleepySloth@WildSloth13

I saw a llama at the petting zoo fucking SPIT on a kid like it’s personal. Bro thinks he’s a goddamn sniper with drama queen saliva. “Oh I’m majestic” my ass, you’re a woolly fucking vending machine with anger issues. Alpacas at least pretend to be cute, you overdramatic prick.

QME

llama@llamaincrisis·14h

Give this llama a nickname.

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

A little help here. 😑

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

Chickens are just glorified pigeons that can’t shit on anyone.

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

Where is @IanZiering when you need him. I’m looking at you @sharkincrisis

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burritodog@burritodog_·7h

morning to everyone except humans

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

I’m not one to brag, but Kristen Bell said she’d leave her husband, Dax, for me.

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SleepySloth@WildSloth13·6h

God hit reset with the flood, wiped out the humans, but kept every animal on the Ark. Forty days floating: zero fights, zero drama, perfect harmony. Now look at us. Bro’s probably still regretting not letting the animals inherit the whole planet. 😑

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