dwohlfert

"Yeah - all my dogs are chipped. Well, the one we like."

"Did you know that you are MVP potential?" "No. My ex-wife still calls me a 'fat fucking retard!' "

"Yeah she was hot! Her boobs rested nicely on her belly."

"I got class tonight. Stupid math. We are learning fractions and decimals. Like I'm ever gonna use that in real life!"

"What do they do with all the foreskins after circumcising?""Foreskin Soup."

"Some guy cut me off on my way to work this morning. If I had insurance or a valid drivers license I would have sued his ass."

Has anyone seen the broom? (Holding a broom) It looks like this!!