Master Chief.

@vybzmartell_ 😂😂 Kako njaa ajab

Comrades bana tuachane na mambo ya pets😂 Huyu jirani alinunua paka na yeye ni dem wa sherehe. Leo ni day 3 hajaingia paka iko njaa inaniangalia ikitamani samosa yangu lakini siezi ipatia. Wacha ikufe njaa iondokee hii mateso

@jojo__joe 😂😂

My guy leo alieenda out na dem amekuwa akiwinda for some time now. Morio ananichapia eti he had to ask the lady whether ako idhaa yake even before ordering food. Dem akamshow eti she is seeing someone else. Ilibidi hiyo date iishie hapo and they parted ways just like that😂😂

@JoelJirane Patients wanaambiwa wanunue gloves na wako Level 5 hospital

There's this Sub County Hospital that doesn't have giving sets for 3 months now. Mgonjwa kama ni wa kupata fluids wanatumia 10cc syringe kusukuma 500mls of fluid. That's 50 times. Kama ni wa kupata 1.5L just imagine kazi iko hapo. Hatuna nchi kabisa!!!

Always stick to what makes you weird, odd, strange, different. That is your source of power. — Robert Greene. #FoodFriday

@kuwamocho_ Huku unaskia tu " strong strong" saa hio umewekelewa kilo 80 for 1 hr

ukipunguza maringo nakuonyesha chuom 30bob only

@Krepublics2_ Huyu ni senior ajab , must be very experienced ile upande ingine ni 55 gross

Kumbe Kenyan Nurses wanalipwa vizuri hivi😳

@AmerucanWizard My Mp voted Yes, saa hii ako huko home akiitana "watu wetu" . 2027 anafukuzwa kama mburukenge

Kama kuna kitu ilisinya pale 2024,during finance bill,it's when we kenyans begged our mps to vote no, we even sent them text messeges requesting them to vote no, but they ignored us and voted yes..my mp alienda to an extent ya kuongea in the local radio, akasema genz ni wazimu.

in a world full of rooms, be the elephant

@jeanbrendah by the way 😂😂

Men from that one tribe will disagree na hii tweet. They love mmf more than anything.

@KusienyaKelvin Damn 👊🏼

On the issue about improvisation, there's this case where the stylus of the G16 branula F2 ilivunjikia ndani ya vein. Hapa sasa ilibidi we have to remove it as soon as possible. Nilitafuta tourniquet kwa emergency tray nikakosa. With limited option, ikabidi we improvised by using a clean glove and the Foley catheter to tourniquet the limb F1 It was a success story because we managed to remove the broken piece and saved the situation.

@Nyamisa_Chela Thanks acha niendee mtambo

Unaweza kalia woofer but huwezi skiza kiti

@bavonski 😂😂

Strait of Hamuz becoming the Kenyan lingo for vagina just shows how much we are not serious as a republic

@PrevoMD @ItsGregy_ Buana,I was busy nikipima kiatu then this bastard hits me in the cajones karibu niue yy.kipii ikakimbia kuambia hs mum, Had to leave unfortunately

@ItsGregy_ Why are women like that by the way😌 They lack the capacity to tell their fat kids to behave😏 A kid is kicking my balls and she is there “sweetie stop” nonsense! Nitalima mtoto ngoto

Kuenda any Mall in Nairobi on Sunday skuizi imekuwa chaotic buana,, single mothers can't tame their unruly kids they are all over. I can't even shop Kwa amani.

@shaz_oyoo Watu wa spitali can't relate.iko mtu amekuwa kazi the whole of Easter 😅

Labour day and Madaraka day fall on a Friday and Monday respectively 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️ This is the year that the Lord has made. We are literally working 4 days a week in Q2 😆😆😆😆

@staceycutey Hii Kenya saa hii ni kubad, bora unga ipatikane. Can't believe we enjoyed huko primary school, highschool alaf ikifikia mahali our lives matter the most all odds are against us. This generation is seeing bad things.

Omgggg almost half the girls i studied with in campus are now bottle girls kwa the locals and clubs we used to party in 😭😭💀

@KenyanSays 😂😂

Two men tried to get close to an elephant in Meru, Kenya, and found out the hard way!

@polo_kimanii I watched Dj Afro movies hadi nikamaliza high school, guy made our childhood very interesting 💯

This Dj Afro Guy is the reason my mother almost killed me. Nilitumwa Kerosene ya kuwasha stove saa nne nikapitia pale kwa movie nikapata ndio sinema ya Azumi inaanza nikaamua kukaa chini dakika tano nione namna gani. When I went outside again it was dark. Kuuliza jamaa ni saa ngapi ananiambia 7:20. That day I am telling you My mother beat me up and until she got tired,mwiko ikavunjika,she now started biting me like a T9 Mutina. I once told this story to a Westlands baddie and she told me I had childhood trauma. But my fellow Lower middleclass Jangris know we all deserved those beatings.

@sugarwithvenom ni mbayaa 😂😂

My brother picks a call on loudspeaker (Tuko na mom hapa) His friend: "Kwani ulikuwa juu ninii"😂 Naishaa🤣🤣🤣🤣

@mokayah @Ohta_Ryota Huko unapata Brufen syrup na Amoxil only. hadi bandages hakuna. By the time you reach the next facility you are finished!

@Ohta_Ryota After accident unakimbizwa by a probox to some dysfunctional subcounty hospital with your 20m medical cover proving to be very useless.

KPA CEO's vehicle hit a stationary trailer killing the daughter. When we say bad leadership will kill you even if you are inside government, they ignore it until it hits them. Accident nowhere near Nairobi hospital because same government you are in has allowed road indiscipline

@Mastardcesh Amejaa ngorii 😅

VURUGU AFTERMATH: Kasarani Indoor Arena was boiling like chai on a jiko last night, April 4, 2026, as Vurugu Fight Night landed with influencer boxing hype turned into real gloves and real consequences. Mbavu Destroyer came in loud, confident and promising to finish Majembe fast, while Majembe stayed quiet,calm energy, small smile and a warning that he’d win quickly. Mbavu weighed 67.65kg still talking big about “destroyer energy,” but Majembe was 70.8kg and stayed focused on the fight instead of speeches. When the bell rang, Mbavu charged in reckless like he wanted fireworks in round one, swinging hard but missing big chances as Majembe moved slick and frustrated him. Then it happened....Majembe landed a clean counter body shot and Mbavu folded immediately, clutching in pain and claiming it was a low blow. The referee had to step in and the crowd lost it as Mbavu kept arguing while Majembe stood there looking like a man who already knew the result. Mbavu couldn’t continue, and Majembe won by TKO in the first round, ending the show before the hype could even breathe. After, Mbavu still complained in interviews, but the memes already took over and the real moral was clear: social media sells the talk, the ring collects the receipts. But reminder: Match was scripted!