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But does the nail tech neeeeeeed to keep showing me all the skin she is removing from my cuticles or

Just saw the hottest guy in the Duane Reade diarrhea aisle 🥹

Slutty girls show up uninvited to the function? That’s intrusive thots

Every time a girl posts a Pilates map to her story, a fuck boy loses a pink Himalayan salt lamp.

@l4anders226 Elon Musk debuts first self-driving human

Camera phones have absolutely ruined us. Canny even go to the petrol station stick the pump up your arse and have a chug in peace any more.

One time I was sleeping with a coworker and he got a little too obsessed it started to interfere with his work and eventually he got fired and i got to say the words “pussy so fire it put him on a PIP”

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The sluttiest thing a man can do is put the hood of his sweatshirt up

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