alex

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alex

@chuncmoder

huskmoding into hell

tpob (that part of brooklyn) Присоединился Mayıs 2022
1.2K Подписки1.3K Подписчики
Закреплённый твит
alex
alex@chuncmoder·
i killed a girl who could’ve lived and now every night she haunts me in my dreams with the echoes of the life i stole from her
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@wulfhildaa true the wire is considered one of the worst shows of all time bc it was bad rep for impoverished black americans facing generational trauma
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Wulfhilda
Wulfhilda@wulfhildaa·
@chuncmoder only cishet White people can be emotionally complex gravitating characters. if you’re a minority, you have to be “good representation.”
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
seeing the tadc fandom react to jax is funny bc if you think he’s some irredeemable monster how tf would you handle watching tony soprano do the most morally heinous shit for 6 seasons all while being one of the most emotionally complex gravitating characters in tv history
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@autumnrain80 hrt is magic if you start pre puberty in that you won’t have to voice train, most likely won’t need ffs to visually pass, and will be able to perform femininity as much as a cis woman does to be read as a woman. post puberty it’s mainly just preventing further damage from T
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Queen of Nuance
Queen of Nuance@autumnrain80·
“HRT is magic” enabled “boymoder” culture and expectations. Its effects are way overvalued in the context of a social transition. Now we have girls waiting to be themselves for magic that will likely never get them there.
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@deskhon85491 @PastaModer i malefail before speaking sometimes but i don’t pass with my voice to the point everyone in my life including all my friends thinks i’m just a cis guy. idk i just cope with dissociating as much as i can but idrt i’ll get past 30 with this strat let alone thru this year atp
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Deskhon
Deskhon@deskhon85491·
@chuncmoder @PastaModer What's the alternative if you don't pass and aren't ok with honmoding? You yourself admit to largely passing after ffs. Most of us don't have that route out.
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
the funniest thing about this post is that it ended up being a banger for the traaa / egg_irl crowd but this shit is just entirely from over a decade of fully conscious repression half that on hrt all while becoming the worst version of myself i possibly could have become
alex@chuncmoder

was a sentence away from coming out to my friend last night while we were drunk and now my brain is just like “you should gaslight her about everything you said, deny being trans, and become emotionally unavailable forever”

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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
knowing i could die at any moment instead of having to get the will to do it myself gives me comfort that one day i can sleep forever and never have to wake up to the nightmare of being trapped in this vessel ever again
♡BEA♡@beatami_

trans people who know but stay closeted are insane to me because you do realise youre an animal that could die at any time... right? like... no matter what happens you die! you know that right?! YOURE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY ! PLEASE INTERNALISE THAT !! DONT WASTE YOUR TIME !!!

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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@sndwv_ oh that was me in high school / how i repped before becoming a manmoder. for me it was an attempt to ignore dysphoria and perpetually delay transitioning with completely dissociated hedonism. ended up doing a bunch of crazy shit that most reppers never even end up doing
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Soundwave
Soundwave@sndwv_·
@chuncmoder i saw the tv glow is the middle road. i mean like, we need some wolf on wall street kinda shit.
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Soundwave
Soundwave@sndwv_·
to complete the trinity of transfem characters we need one that is absolutely killing it, and by "it," i mean herself because she's still dying inside because she hasn't transitioned.
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@aMoral_Mistake @oomfmoder it’s the voice oomf and you know that considering i malefail visually even in a hat and binder before i speak. voice is everything unless you can convince your brain to actually get anything from pitypassing
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amoral mistake
amoral mistake@aMoral_Mistake·
@chuncmoder @oomfmoder Wear an actual bra for a week instead of the binder and leave the cope-cap at home, i wanna see how that combo would work with the shorter hair
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@oomfmoder i have a mental block for some reason that prevents me from using my trained voice irl so i use my cismoid natural voice and just dissociate. i’m old now too i’m reaching the end of my 20s so it just feels sm more difficult to come out. it’s all my fault
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vida
vida@oomfmoder·
@chuncmoder This is genuinely so sad, why are you not transitioning? I feel bad for you
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@PastaModer don’t become me oomf. no one deserves to endure this pain and lose the entirety of their youth the way i have
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Soapyy
Soapyy@PastaModer·
@chuncmoder Genuinely cannot wait to also be a 5 year HRT manmoder, I already got the dissociation and extreme depression down!!!!
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@iwnbaw42 i will be ordering ** and the stuff to keep it down by the end of the summer if i’m still doing this there’s no point to being conscious for any longer if i’m going to continue “living” like this
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
the worst thing about puberty is that if my vocal cords weren’t mutilated by T i would 100% be passing but instead i have to manipulate my body to produce some shitty strained recreation of my real voice that’ll never pass to myself even it ends up fooling cis people
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@_aria1_ no ttttenglish, not overly depressing since it’s more of an intrusive thought even tho i might actually do this, show just ended so still relevant and relatable to online queer zoomers in general instead of my usual crowd
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
was a sentence away from coming out to my friend last night while we were drunk and now my brain is just like “you should gaslight her about everything you said, deny being trans, and become emotionally unavailable forever”
alex tweet media
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@JKoralCEO i bet this meme goes rly hard if you’re 6 months hrt and still have hope and not 5 years hrt and still living as a man
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@espressobaddie @MicroDoseHon substance abuse. constant dissociation and depersonalization. telling yourself you can’t rope until your parents die when you start making plans. mental breakdowns to interrupt dissociation with lots of crying and “i can’t live like this” at 3am. it’s not rly living
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belle
belle@espressobaddie·
@MicroDoseHon that “12 years” hit me like a truck how do people live like this?
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@zitwocy i’m an alcoholic hrt repper that’s repressed to everyone in my life for over a decade dw i also watch plenty of depressing art house films that are actually good
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@JKoralCEO i saw the tv glow how bout i saw the clavicles grow (and turn me into a shoulderhon)
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alex
alex@chuncmoder·
@MicroDoseHon this will be me unless i get the will to start using my fake trained voice outside instead of my true moid voice
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