Jared Alissandratos

I’m going to give 10 random people who retweet this tweet $10,000 EACH! You must be following @Pulte and me so we can dm you if you win $10,000! Ends in 72 hours, will show proof ❤️

I’m seriously the funniest person I know

Search “idiot” on Google images.

Who tf watches regular TV anymore

@Anthony64699975 @mvxoxo_ @jpgelazin Who this bitch think she is

If his name starts w/ J, he ain’t shit

Adulthood is low key lonely af. Everyone’s busy. Everyone sucks at texting. We all just work all day to come home and sleep to wake up and work again. On weekends you catch up on things you couldn’t do during the week. It’s all stupid.

@Anthony64699975 @LeonelHern37 @l_dizzle10 @TheDailyShow @michaelkosta I just want to be around for the first laser battle in space

.@michaelkosta heads to a South Carolina Trump rally to learn more about Space Force.

When you wake up the morning after blacking out and you’re not hungover

Happy 4th y’all!!! I’m single so I’ll be shooting off my own fireworks tonight 🤪 #FourthofJuly2018

@whothehell_care @TMurray97 @LeonelHern37

When my boobs small but he still give them attention anyways twitter.com/lizzytrizzy/st…

only the real ones will understand this✊🏽

CNN writes nicer things about brutal dictator’s sister than about our President twitter.com/cnn/status/962…

when you walk back into the party after throwing up twitter.com/Dory/status/87…

SNOW IN FLORIDA! Check out this incredible video from Tallahassee just a few minutes ago, showing the snow coming down! ❄❄❄ (Video courtesy: Matt Schnippert @altotus)

I don’t trust people who like Burger King

The Giants are 0-4.