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Simon & Garfunkel

booking a city break in dunfermline

today, I stood on a spike (silly) and it went all the way through the sole of my shoe and my insole and into my foot!

@LaughOutMacLeod How do you expect me to get a decent extraction with this?

@LaughOutMacLeod *conservative coffee

When I'm the only one in the office I fill the kettle from the water cooler

@LobotomyWeekend I use it against intruders

i don't know what the steamer on the iron is for but i like the sound it makes so i use it, a lot

@Andrewjmenzi @PunHubOnline You know NOTHING of my appearance

@PunHubOnline @kneneht u before the mouser

✈️

My friend Andrew bets on football

Chill with two birds, don’t throw stones. The birds will appreciate it

Zeebrugge also acceptable.

IDEA: A frequent, hydrogen-fueled, ferry service from Aberdeen to Rotterdam.

@GodfreyVanZoom And with that, the prefix made a triumphant return.

@kneneht www.iwishiwasalsoinalake.lake

What happened to the www. prefix?

@GodfreyVanZoom ialsodyedmyhairblondejustlikeyou.org

@kneneht Fucks sake, you’re right. I put it there and it got nicked

FREE THE RHYNIE MAN

Where to begin? 🤦

@LobotomyWeekend Can I come round for a pickle

i have a jar of pickles so big that i can't bear to open it because of commitment issues

@LaughOutMacLeod @matthew_gibson This tweet is my big return to twitter, 2021

Who vaccinates the vaccinators

My car went on fire