valensomnia

took my last breath a couple nights ago

if you make a transformers movie with as much sauce as this shot hasbro will straight up kill you

yo but if there's Kane Parsons that means... Kane Par... my man 😂🤝

u miss gym for 2 weeks and it’s like you’ve never lifted a day in your life omg

customer service protip: pretend all your clients are five year olds who don’t know a single thing about anything

men think that rape is some rare phenomenon that occurs in a dark alleyway, late into the night, inflicted by a monstrous man, and not just like, your boyfriend ignoring your boundaries, or your girlfriend crying and begging until you give in, or your parent saying it's a game

hope discord gets deleted by the time I have kids

the average conversation on love island:

Every year I celebrate Ronald Reagan’s death date like I took him out myself

wiggly ass tophat on the bottom right

how it feels wanting a joestar birthmark tattoo

i dont get it? this would just have the game skip to credits?

the worst message by the worst messenger, this guy’s dad was such a prolific rapist they literally passed a law named after him.

i hate my fans

@tradboiwife nigga was making anything

A full tank of gas , haircut and car wash is a $200 day you ain’t even eat yet

how it feels to be mixed n get some of the worst traits from both sides

asian genes cursed me with shitty facial hair i deadass cannot grow a decent beard

This happened when my great aunt Phillis died from cancer and her son OD’d so we had a double funeral

@kiyascientist @15thkd nah the wasps be doing that bees dont gaf unless you threaten them

@15thkd & they still gone sting yo ass why u tryna cop pleas w bees

This is like the 100th bee I’ve done this for they defo know me by now