baker

johnny knoxville is the straight man’s rupaul

for breakfast we do something cool like have a cigarette and like a bar of chocolate then we go for work for one half hour two half hour then we go for lunch and lunch is usually yknow something cool like a cigarette and two three bottle of red wine and like a bowl of heavy cream

so wha gonna happen when i take a the playstation…disconnek it…

#that has nothing to do with #me

owl city if he was RANDOM!!! : id like to bake myself a cheese xD

fw myself on fw me friday

They’re pissing me off at the pissing me off factory

Since men are too busy with podcasts, someone has to do real jobs

and when i say i love the cowgirl aesthetic i mean in a LIBERAL and KACEY MUSGRAVES way

duuuude i led my horse to water and this motherfucker will notttt drink 🤦‍♀️

I was doing like an advanced kind of joke where it isnt funny

YOU MUST BREAK THE PATTERN TODAY OR THE LOOP WILL REPEAT TOMORROW

Your shorty's doin' tricks on it. She just pulled a quarter out from behind my balls*

[completely horizontal with my blanket all the way up to my nose] Scoundrel!

sorry for not texting back i got writers block

I'm lying in bed #ImLyingInBed

(upon seeing my wife) Bow Chicka Wow Wow! Boner Alert

the early bird will play with they worm

tony hawk's po tater