sam

Nigga in da whip lookin like Mickey Mouse just to smoke

at work today i served a little girl some ice cream, and her mom says "honey, what do u say?" And she looks me dead in the eyes and says "I love u"😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Me at 6:25am changing my alarm from 6:30 to 6:35

y'all are going to die

Ppl who are not self-sufficient really irritate me 😭 like look it up yourself!!!! Figure it out yourself!!!! The information is RIGHT THERE!!!!!!

Being likable is actually more important than being good at your job.

My sister on a jail call with her ngga talking about “I’m coming to lay in that cell wit you” he like “come on😏” what type of fucking fairy tale y’all living in ?😂😂😂

This is what Donkey would have looked like if he had drank the human potion instead of Shrek.

can’t believe how much of getting older is just your peers running the city as the politicians, doctors, lawyers… like it’s cool but also, i know you guys lmao

this is so real cause how else would I be treated??? duh

My wife and I were giving each other the silent treatment last week in Chicago. I realized I’d need her to wake me at 5 AM for an early flight back to Atlanta. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, I wrote a note: “Please wake me at 5 AM.” The next morning, I woke up, looked at the clock, and saw it was already 9 AM. I’d missed my flight. Furious, I was about to yell at my wife when I noticed a piece of paper by the bed. It read: “It’s 5 AM. Wake up.”

Why I’m at CVS and I hear the nigga infront me ask for 50 condoms so I looked at my homegirl and we bust out laughing why would this man turn around look dead at us & say make it 52😭😭😭😭😭

I be liking when black girls have Mexican boyfriends like yes that’s yo Chico

yesterday my brother went to a party while I was celebrating my new home.. my dad’s morning message:

British

Niggas make they spaghetti with ground turkey instead of ground beef and think they Dr Sebi