Jacob

I'm just a guy who likes to curl up next to the fireplace while getting lost in a good book like Coraline.

@MAGATruthX @atrupar

They’re acting like gas prices exist in a vacuum. Donald Trump is talking about preventing a nuclear threat and stabilizing the world—yeah, that comes first. End the conflict, secure peace, and energy markets settle. You don’t fix gas prices while chaos is still happening. Safety and strength = lower prices in the long run. 🇺🇸

Q: Today gas prices hit $4-- TRUMP: We're at $4, yeah, and we have a country that's not gonna be throwing a nuclear weapon at us Q: But Americans are feeling the effects TRUMP: And they're also feeling a lot safer Q: What is the plan to bring them back down? TRUMP: All I have to do is leave Iran

@tocophobia Hold the mayo!

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars

i think it’d be fun to make a bunch of these and do a blind box

@DOTABUFF To be fair sand kings burrow strike is repurposed as mirages 2, tornado

Imagine Sand King’s Burrow Strike except it doesn’t stun. Instead you just run around burrowed with 60% increased armor and 30% magic resistance. When you pop up it’s a knockup and slow. Now give this hero Pudge Dismember as an ult. Grabs them and holds them in place while it deals damage. Still not enough. Give him a 3 second AoE disarm at level one. Spray sand at people and they can’t right click you. Well that’s Mo and Krill from Deadlock.

@Tunnelsnakefool Modded doc or type CBBE the choice is yours

Modded doc Mitchell is frying me rn

@tocophobia The real joke is your cable management bada bing bada boom

secretary.

@Tunnelsnakefool OH I thought you were talking about hidden videos on the YouTube app lmao. Yeah god forbid anyone see my hidden folder

@4ScoreSlappy The hidden folder is face id protected on iPhone. The youtube app bypasses the face id and gives you access to that folder.

Psa YouTube unhides your hidden folder when you're uploading from the app. Me discovering this today:

@oinkshallah @RonFilipkowski Why is he dodging the question

@RonFilipkowski So you think it's ok that a liberal at the IRS leaked Trump's tax forms?

The only way to deal with this BS is the next reporter has to ask the same question or someone else until it gets answered.

@Turbofurby OP is a tourist that makes income from engagement. Faking outrage is the best way to get that. I don’t think he’s a fan of anything.

OP really is a massive Legion fan, huh. And before someone says "B-but Bitter Springs!", the NCR acknowledges what happened and admit it was a black eye for them. It was miscommunication and bad intel, literally an accident.

@tocophobia ur missing out

the difference is that I’m not using my wiener to scroll

I’m actually so sad I can’t edit this LMAO

do u think they’re talking about actual porn and beans or do u think they are talking about the 2008 classic pork and beans by weezer

@tocophobia Is that Apple Music 😵‍💫

@been_supe @froggy_dl Imagine Midas could target ancients, gave you damage hp cast range, and gold was equivalent to xp. The horror.

@4ScoreSlappy @froggy_dl I hope every game Icefrog develops has a Midas-equivalent item in it

"icefrog, i like you, you made my dota 2, heres a billion dollars and a dev team, go make whatever you want while i sit on my yacht and play my favorite game" - gabe newell probably

@tocophobia Everything Everywhere All at Once, except it’s about white boy instead of generational gaps and the asian immigration experience

I’d kill you in every lifetime <3

@VeriitasGames Still an asmon fan?

LOL people think I make money from sharing my political opinions on Twitter? I've never once attempted to monetize this platform. There's more to life than engagement, viewer numbers, and money. It's probably about time I just get this little rant out of the way. The folks who need to read it, won't, but oh well. 🙃 No matter how I feel when I post, I'm told I'm mad. Everything longer than 100 characters is crashing out apparently. This is elementary school bullshit and we all know it. Trust me, I know they'll be in these replies, maybe even more than any other post, saying the same predictable shit. I look forward to it, at least they'll be proving my point for all the folks who do care or are curious enough to read all of this. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing regardless of if I have 3 viewers or 3,000, because in all my years before becoming a content creator, and in my first few years doing it, I set myself up to be fortunate enough where I don't have to give a shit about any of that. I don't need the love of a million people on the internet. I've got my wife, my family my IRL friends and my internet friends, and I'm good. I literally chose to stop playing a game that was a cash cow because I simply lost interest after thousands of hours and years of playing it nonstop. I don't need the money. I don't need the viewer numbers. I don't even run ads on Twitch, so why would I care about maximizing my viewer count? To try and impress some anonymous avatar on Twitter? You gotta love how half my critics say I'm a millionaire that's so out of touch, and the other half say I'm so broke I need to ragebait on Twitter to pay the bills. The whiplash is crazy 🤣 The reality is... everyone's stream will be dead someday. One day Kai Cenat will have 0 viewers. One day Shroud will have 0 viewers. We'll all survive. My streaming career isn't over, but EVEN IF IT WAS, holy shit was it an incredible, massive success. I accomplished everything I ever wanted to already on any of these platforms... things very few people have done, and I'm proud and grateful for it all. I got to stream for 100,000 people for 24 hours straight, and I used that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to raise $100,000 in a single stream for charity. I've gotten to travel all over, made so many friends, had an insane amount of fun, and inspired and taught countless people about the things I love. Everything else is just a bonus at this point. I'll ride this wave as long as I can, I don't give a fuck how big it is because the view is beautiful and the water is warm. No serious, mature, respectable adult thinks that insulting someone's social media metrics is anything but a desperate cry for attention. I've willingly lost more average viewers by switching games and being honest and genuine than any of these kinds of people could ever hope to gain, and not for nothing, but it's also an incredible insult to all those really awesome and talented people who will grind for years and never get past 5 viewers because these platforms and their algorithms suck ass. Numbers aren't proof of value or quality, and the only people who pretend like they are, are the people with not much of either, it seems. Folks try to get all creative and fabricate whatever reasons, motives, or explanations their little imaginations can come up with for why I do what I do, say what I say, or why I am where I am, but it'll never be anything more than a cringey imagined parasocial strawman. The people that incessantly claim that I think I'm better than everyone or smarter than everyone have never seriously or genuinely attempted to engage with me. When people are massive dickheads to me, I call massive dickheads. It's not that I think I'm smarter or superior... it's that they're acting like massive dickheads. This hurts their feelings because they're used to their edgelordiness being ignored in walls of emote spam in some giant streamers chat. They need me to be a big meany mean arrogant mean guy to make themselves feel better for being internet trolls who get called out for being internet trolls. Whenever I figure out their twitch names and check their chat logs, it always becomes instantly clear why they say what they say, and it's never the truth. ...or maybe they were just having a bad day. Maybe I was having a bad day. Maybe we had a misunderstanding. Nah... nevermind. That's gay. Maybe they're just mad the guy they don't like gets to chill all day playing obscure fucking indie puzzle games to like 50 chill lurkers... that I don't need to stick to a single game, meta-farm drops, run ads every 5 minutes... that I can make the occasional YouTube video about whatever I feel like, make music and cohost an awesome podcast and all of that pays my bills? It's pretty sweet, not gonna lie. I'm a lucky dude, and I'm grateful for it... But no, I don't think anybody is jealous of me, and I tend to cringe when I hear people say that's why their haters say/do what they say/do. I generally understand why lots of folks do hate me. Calling dickheads dickheads makes you look like a dickhead. It is what it is. I've been trying to do it less, but man are there so many dickheads out there... The vast majority of the normal, well-adjusted, empathetic human beings out there who really love my content, who get inspired by it, who learn from it, who appreciate it, are the ones that hit me up in DMs, or hit the like button and enjoy it all silently. They're (mostly) not on Twitter, ad they stay away from the dumpster fire that is the replies. I see you all, and I appreciate you. You're why I do what I do. You're not just a number. You aren't an engagement metric. You're a genuine person who I value and respect. To all the degens spamming "dEaD sTrEam oMegaLoL" and "your such a f*ggot"... Does that make you feel better? Do you need a hug? I've never believed or claimed that I was better than anybody else, although if there were any potential candidates, I know who would make the list first... Seriously, therapy is fantastic, you should give it a try. When you type "crIcKeTs LmaO" when you get no response after you hit me with what you think is a sick gotcha, do you ever think maybe I just got off the toilet, closed my laptop and went on with my day? I doubt it... Do you feel like you're getting a W because I decide you're not worth engaging with and just stop responding? If so, I'm happy for you. It seems like you probably needed a W in your life. We all do sometimes. I get it. Lots of people enjoy my occasional political commentary. FAR more than dislike it. If it hurts your delicate sensibilities, or you're solely into Tarkov or whatever and don't care about politics, you are perfectly free to unfollow, mute, or block. We'll both survive. The next time you decide to respond to one of my posts, telling me that nobody cares about my opinion, you should maybe first consider the incredibly painful irony there... Just sayin' 😅

@tocophobia Aging like wine surely

do u still think im hot even though im 27

@tocophobia Year 1 A.K is a great line btw

Kirk #KeepItRealKing

@tocophobia how I met your mother how I met your mother how I met your mother

ya we’re just gonna change that one real quick wtf