/r/AllFantasyEverything

If you ever need to provide a clip that will showcase the best of what @AllFantasyPod is all about, the last five minutes “When That Paycheck Hits” is now the gold standard #AllFantasyEverything podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whe…

(Warning: long rant) My liberal friends are completely oblivious about how radicalizing the last week has been for tens of millions of normal Americans. Zero clue. I’m not talking about people who are “online”; I mean regular, everyday Americans. “Normies.” People who scroll through Facebook posts and Instagram reels from the Dutch Bros drive thru line. Political moderates who have water cooler chats about Mahomes touchdowns and Bon Jovi concerts, not Twitter threads or Rachel Maddow monologues. Millions of them. Tens of millions. They’re logging on, they’re engaging, and they’re furious. And I’ll be candid: They blame you guys. They blame the left. Regardless of whether you believe it to be justified, they think you’re the bad guys here. And they are reacting accordingly. I can already hear some of you racing toward the comments to start screeching in moral indignation, so I’m going to be blunt: Shut up and listen to what I’m telling you. Your movement will lose any semblance of relevance if you don’t develop some small measure of self-awareness, and—absent someone force-feeding you bitter medicine—you guys collectively lack the humility to do this on your own. Here are the facts: Fact 1. Tens of millions of Americans started the week seeing a 23-year-old blonde woman—a young woman in whom virtually every parent watching pictured their own daughter—stabbed in the neck by a career criminal. These people then found out the murderer had been released from jail 14 times over. Fact 2. Two days later, tens of millions of Americans watched a video of Charlie Kirk get murdered speaking to college students. Millions of these people knew who Charlie was; millions of them didn’t. Upon seeing the video, however, these normal Americans from across the land and across the political spectrum agreed that he was the victim of a terrible, fundamentally unjustifiable crime, and their hearts broke in sympathy for his family. Good people who had never even heard the name Charlie Kirk before wept. Fact 3. Immediately after seeing the footage of a peaceful young man get shot in the neck, these same people logged onto Facebook and Instagram (remember, we are talking about regular Americans, not perpetually online Twitter or Bluesky users) and saw some of their local nurses, school teachers, college administrators, and retail workers celebrating this horrific crime. Not just defending it, but cheering it. These are all facts. You may not like the implications of these facts, and we can certainly debate the underlying causes thereof, but, indisputably, they are nevertheless factual statements. Here’s what it means for you, the Democrats reading this: These normal, middle-of-the-road, non-political citizens just become politically active. They realized that politics cares about them, even if they don’t particularly care about politics. After watching Iryna Zarutska and Charlie Kirk both bleed out from the neck, they think their lives and the physical safety of their families—the bedrock of human society, the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs—depend on political activation, whether they desire it or not. These people are now sprinting—not jogging, not walking, but racing—to the right. Because they blame you guys for everything that just happened. When they see footage of Decarlos Brown stabbing a Ukrainian refugee to death, they don’t see just one demon-possessed man. They picture every university administrator, HR bureaucrat, and DEI apparatchik that ever lectured them about systemic racism, the “carceral state,” or the need to release violent crime suspects without bail in the name of social justice. They then think back to conversations they’ve had with their cop friends—their buddy from high school who quit the force after getting tired of being called a racist, their friend at the local YMCA who vents about having to release career criminals because Soros-funded prosecutors aren’t willing to file charges—and they realize everything the left has told them over the last five years has been utter bullshit. And they blame you. Because, even if you count yourself as a moderate Democrat, your party supported the district attorneys, city council members, and mayors that let fictitious concerns about mental health and racial justice supersede very real concerns for their family’s safety. When these Americans see blood erupt from the side of Charlie Kirk’s neck, they don’t see just a martyred political activist. They think of every extreme leftist they’ve ever met who (1) calls anyone to the right of Hillary Clinton a fascist and (2) constantly jokes—“jokes”—about punching Nazis and “bashing the fash.” They realize that there really do exist people who wish to see them dead for their moderately conservative political beliefs, their Christian faith, and even the color of their skin. They ask themselves if the violence visited upon Charlie might one day show up on their own doorstep. And they blame you. Because, even if you’re just a center-of-the-road liberal, you lacked the courage to police your own ranks. You let modern-day Maoist red guards run loose across every facet of society, and what started with social-media struggle sessions has now turned to 30-06 bullet holes. When these Americans log onto social media and see their neighbors justifying, celebrating, glorifying murder, they realize that some who walk among them are soulless ghouls at best, literally demon-possessed at worst. These people—whether they faithfully attend church every Sunday or only attend with relatives once a year, on Christmas Eve—start talking about things like spiritual warfare. They implicitly understand that no normal human casually celebrates the mortal demise of a peaceful person. And they blame you. Because, even if you condemned Charlie Kirk’s murder, they probably haven’t seen you condemn those in your own movement who cheered it on. They view you as complicit in allowing heartless fellow travelers to celebrate death, and it repulses them. For all of these situations, what has your response been? Nothing but bullshit. In response to Iryna Zarutska bleeding out on the floor of a train, you post bullshit statistics about reductions in reported crime, when everyone who’s ever been to a major urban center in the last decade knows that actual crime has skyrocketed, only for victims not to waste their time reporting it to cops that don’t have the manpower to respond and prosecutors that seek to downgrade as many felonies as possible to misdemeanor citations. In response to a 31-year-old man taking a bullet to the neck in front of his family, you post nothing but bullshit whataboutism. > “What about January 6th?” (Honest answer: After you let Liz Cheney spend two years operating a star chamber in the House, combined with countless other failed attempts at “lawfare” against Trump, no one cares anymore.) > “What about Mike Lee making a dumb joke on Twitter about some guy in a mask in Minnesota?” (No one outside of Utah, DC, or Twitter knows who Mike Lee even is.) > “What about Paul Pelosi?” (That’s not comparable to Charlie Kirk getting shot, and we all know it. And, again, Paul who?) > “What about regulations on assault rifles?” (That’s not going to get you very far when one of these killers used a knife and the other one used a common hunting rifle.) In response to teachers, healthcare workers, and thousands of other liberals cheering on Charlie’s murder, it’s nothing but more bullshit and misdirection. > “It’s not THAT many people celebrating!” (Yes, it is. Everyone has seen it on their Facebook and Instagram feeds.) > “I thought you guys didn’t support cancel culture.” (We don’t cancel people over their opinions; we’re more than happy to see people lose their jobs—especially their taxpayer-funded jobs—for actively cheering on murder, though. If you can’t see the difference, that’s your own shortcoming.) All bullshit. Not even smart bullshit, but stale, mid-grade, low-IQ bullshit. Ordinary Americans see right through it, and they don’t like how it smells. You probably don’t like hearing this. But you need to hear it. Because I’m right, and, as you reflect on this, you know I’m right. The ranks of my political movement gained millions of righteously angry new members this week. We have a mandate to ensure these crimes never happen again, and that’s exactly what we are now going to do. If you want to keep a seat at the table as we do so, you’d better clean house and start policing your own.

If you’re in Dallas/Fort Worth go see David Gborie headline the Dallas Comedy Club this weekend. Who knows who you’ll see there…

I think someone told Sean that the longer he does the ad reads the more he gets paid

@krubner @mikitaisbased Wow. Thanks for sharing this lil bit of info!!

If this strikes you as unlikely then you will be even more surprised to learn that in 1942, “Moldy Mary,” while working as an employee of the Department Of Agriculture, walked into her local grocery store to buy some dinner and then, when she saw a backroom warehouse worker about to throw away a box, she lunged forward and saved an estimated 140 million people worldwide, because the mold growing on the rotten cantaloupe in the box had the most productive capacity for penicillin ever discovered in the wild. One statistician referred to this as “the least likely event that has ever occurred, of which we have good documentation.” It is statistically impossible that the most productive mold ever discovered, any where in the world, would show up in the grocery store of a woman who was being paid to look for it. And yet that actually happened.

I don’t understand mold. Where does it come from? Are tiny mushrooms just casually floating around in the air at all times?

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait

I know Sean doesn’t want a bunch of public knowledge about his daughter, so I hope he doesn’t hate me for sharing this but, she’s the biggest Lou Rawls fan I’ve ever seen

Hey all family! Recently one of our own lost their grandmother and are in need of some help and support. Give if you can, share if you can't. gofundme.com/f/assist-with-…

Ms. WHO?!

IF I’M CELEBRATING TWISTED TUESDAY AND YOU’RE CELEBRATING TWISTED TUESDAY, THEN WHO’S GIVING OUT 69 FOLLOW BACKS IF YOU RT?? (it’s me)

Hell yeah

Todays the day and yes it will be filmed

400 episodes of All Fantasy Everything! THANK YOU to everyone whos listened, drafted, held your own drafts on road trips, in classrooms, seen us on the road, gotten AFE tattoos, gotten engaged on stage, flown in from other continents, zipped through the whole catalogue 5 times...

Retweeting in solidarity of free speech as a proud American, and because this legit made me laugh.

@beinlibertarian Retweeting in solidarity of free speech as a proud American, and because this legit made me laugh.

What a timeline

Tonight! Milwaukee- tickets are actually pay what you want - so come on out! Tix here: componentbrewing.com/event-details-…

👀 Via @ryanhumor

I've seen @SeanSJordan eat 200 boneless wings on accident.

@zak_toscani in the latest draft.

Theres one 4th of July that sticks out to me, 1997. That’s the year my stepdad pulled me aside from the fireworks show to reveal he bought a grenade. He tossed it off a nearby cliff and just he and I watched it explode. I started calling him dad after that. The man earned it