Stuck in isolation? Keep it together, just drink a beer to relax, then drink another. Bleach your hair, give yourself bangs. Drink 3 more beers. Text your ex a photo of your new ‘do. Light your phone on fire. Whatever you need to do to cope.
You failed Dry January. Don’t beat yourself up. Just drink a beer and relax. Then drink another. Then drink 5 more. Wake up in a porta-potty. Walk outside. Push it over. Whatever you need to to do cope.