𝖱/A/Y．𖤐♡︎

// INTRO " 𝖺𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉， 𝗈𝗋 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝖽． ’𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾， 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗂 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗂’𝖽 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 speak．“ LLTBP!RAY (my au)

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray's brows furrowed, like he was really trying to hold himself together. And he was.] "Because I couldn't! I still can't!" [He shouted— or tried to, but his voice was really shaky.] "It's not that easy for me."

@JSTSL33P “Why didn’t you just, I don’t know, say it?!” [ Confusion filled his head as the impotence of being capable of doing nothing about Ray’s actions devoured his heart. Then, he finally moved his body to look directly at Ray’s, even thought he clearly wasn’t doing the same.]

// @JSTSL33P [ Frank is sitting on his bed. His chest bumping as hard as it could and his throat with a knot that could not be easily erased. His head was looking down, avoiding any eye contact possible with the man standing in front of him. ]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "...Please don't make me say it again." [Ray muttered, his own voice cracking as he squeezed his eyes shut. Like he was trying to drown the overwhelming guilt and nausea he felt.]

@JSTSL33P [The half smile that was left in his face suddenly dropped, just like his heart. Frank could swear that he would faint right there in that moment. His eyes widened as his face turned pale.] “You- What?!” [He tried to scream, but it just came like an airy voice from his chest.]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray could feel his own eyes stinging, but forced back any moisture that threatened to spill.] "...No...it isn't. That's what's terrible about this." [He literally had to force those words out of himself, like his conscious wouldn't even let him consider such words.]

@JSTSL33P “Still! I know this is one-sided anyways.” [ He let out a bitter giggle in between his crying, still eyeing the man beside him. He cleaned the tears from his face again. ]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "It's— we're not— it's just dangerous, okay? They're always watching us." [Ray muttered, fumbling for words and staring intensely at the floor beneath his feet.]

@JSTSL33P “But why would it be if we’re… You know, nothing?” [ The question came out of his mouth like a knife cutting his throat, breaking his heart and the little proud that was left in him. ]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray stared down at the floor. He had to, or else he'd shatter too. And he couldn't do that. Not in front of someone else.] "I know. But...but it's dangerous. You know it is."

@JSTSL33P “But If I didn’t say anything I would be lying to the both of us. I couldn’t keep it in my chest for any longer…” [ He finally got a sight of Ray by the corner of his eye, just in the moment that he had stopped looking at him, and in that moment he felt his heart shattering.”

@RARDOFSORROWS [Ray nodded, gently swiping his thumb across their cheek.] "Of course."

@JSTSL33P [Gerard looked over at Ray with a soft smile. They nodded.] "Thank you."

// @RARDOFSORROWS [Ray was able to get to Gerard's cell rather easily. Maybe it was because he didn't have to go through someone else this time. Whatever the case, he felt a pit in his stomach. He knew Gerard was upset, and he had no idea how to even begin fixing it.] "Rard?"

@RARDOFSORROWS "And I'm sure you will. Just keep that newspaper." [Ray smiled reassuringly, wrapping his free arm around their waist.]

@JSTSL33P "I'm just sick of the lying and all of that shit." [Gerard softly shook their head.] "I want to know the truth."

i wanna be called a cute puppy…

I’m not gonna lie, it looked like Ray was going for the waist and remembered at the last moment to put his arm around Frank’s shoulders

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "...You're not lying if you just don't say anything." [Ray muttered, glancing sideways at Frank before slowly sliding his hand down to rest over the shorter man's. He couldn't comfort him, not like he wanted to, without feeling guilty.]

@JSTSL33P [ At this point, the tears were just running, Frank didn’t feel them anymore, but just seconds later he noticed how a part of them had fallen into Ray’s shoulder. Still, he didn’t move, he couldn’t. ] “I know, but, what can I do? Lie to your face for eternity? I can’t do that”

@RARDOFSORROWS [A frown tugged at Ray's lips.] "Maybe...you are close. And that's why you can't 'reach it' just yet."

@JSTSL33P "I just... I feel like I'm so close to figuring something out." [Gerard said quietly.] "But I can't reach it..."

@ImSoDirtyBabe__ Thanks 🥰

@JSTSL33P That's A Nice Photo

Wow! These cameras sure are amazing 😊

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray bit the inside of his cheek, not sure how to respond. He felt an overwhelming amount of guilt, but he didn't think it was the same kind of guilt that Frank felt. Because he instinctively stiffened when Frank leaned on him.] "...We— I can't be like that. We'd be killed."

@JSTSL33P “It’s just that… I don’t know if it’s right, and I know that you’ll never feel the same way, so I don’t know what’s the point anymore.” [ Unconsciously, his body searched Ray, getting closer to him and resting his head on Ray’s shoulder. ]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray wrung his hands together nervously; like a washrag with endless amounts of water. He then took a seat next to Frank, tenderly squeezing his shoulder.] "...I don't know what to say. I really don't. But...I don't want you to feel bad over this."

@JSTSL33P [ His sight lowered again, and with his hair covering his eyes he felt how the tears were running down his face again, but this time, he didn’t feel scared or nervous, he just felt guilty. ] “I’m sorry, Ray… I didn’t want this to happen but- I couldn’t control it. I’m so sorry”

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "No, I—" [Ray sputtered out on instinct. He felt such a sudden, overwhelming sense of guilt that it made his head spin. But still...he couldn't just leave Frank like that.] "It's...it's fine. I just..." [He muttered, but had no words to follow up with.]

@JSTSL33P [ Frank noticed Ray’s attitude change, the man did not acted like that usually, and Frank’s expression went from a slightly relaxed one to a “I fucked up” worried one. ] “I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” [ His voice cracked again. ] “You can go if you want-”

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "Oh." [Ray froze. Seriously, it was like his entire bodily function got put on pause. He didn't know if he wanted to scream or cry or throw up right now. But he knew it really wasn't Frank's fault. He didn't know how to say that though, so he went silent after that.]

@JSTSL33P “Not like that, idiot…” [ Frank broke eye contact to finally clean up his tears with his thumbs. Just to return back to Ray’s eyes. ] “I like you. I think I might be in love with you, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

@RARDOFSORROWS "It will. Trust me just this once, okay?" [Ray smiled softly yet sadly, gently running his thumb back and forth across their cheek. He just wanted them to be alright.]

@JSTSL33P [Gerard frowned.] "I hope so..."

@MBLEMATICDAGGER [Ray blinked, laughing nervously. He really hoped Frank wasn't saying what he thought he was saying.] "Uh...I'd hope so, considering we're bandmates."

@JSTSL33P [ With difficulty, Frank took a breath in between his chaos, and looked at Ray directly in the eyes. ] “I… think I like you.” [ He said. And suddenly, he didn’t know if the weight in his chest disappeared or got heavier. ]

@MBLEMATICDAGGER "What?" [Ray's brows pinched together. He hated that Frank was so distressed, but he also had no idea what was happening.] "What do you mean by that?"

@JSTSL33P [ His body flinched when Ray’s hand touched his shoulder, and his crying got even worse. He could barely see behind his tears and his hands were trembling. It was embarrassing. ] “It’s you!” [ Frank had built up a little courage to raise his head, finally making eye contact. ]

@RARDOFSORROWS "I do believe you! I can tell this is really bothering you." [Ray's hand slid up from Gerard's hand to gently cup their cheek, willing them to look at him.] "There's definitely something weird happening. There always is in Draag. But...the truth will reveal itself eventually."

@JSTSL33P "You don't believe me... I know you don't." [Gerard muttered.] "I hate the lying. I hate the cover-ups."