Matt

19.6K posts

Matt

@Mattbachus

Stand up comedian in NY. 10,000 laughs, Limestone, New York, SLO, Red Clay comedy festivals.

New York, NY Sumali Mart 2009

880 Sinusundan1.5K Mga Tagasunod

Naka-pin na Tweet

Matt@Mattbachus·23 Eki

7 years of living in a windowless room in Brooklyn and I just signed a lease for a place with a window… I’m beyond excited to finally have something to jump out of.

English

475

Matt nag-retweet

ShitpostGateway@ShitpostGate·7h

No need, he has his lucky Raccoon penis on him

Leading Report@LeadingReport

Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. seen not ducking for cover.

English

283

7.1K

131.5K

Matt nag-retweet

Klara@klara_sjo·21h

l wonder if Jack Skellington thinks about fat white chicks that live in trailer parks as much as they think about him.

English

799

14.7K

329.8K

Matt nag-retweet

ry@RyanNice·20h

for those wondering, he is dating Chris Chan

English

2.7K

51.1K

1.3M

Matt nag-retweet

juju 💰@ayeejuju·2d

a clown’s average salary is $40-$50k a year and here you are, being one for free

English

429

5.2K

208.6K

Matt@Mattbachus·3d

The White Castle near my hotel has a 2.7 rating on google so you know it’s either about to be hittin’ or kill me at first bite.

English

Matt nag-retweet

mau@rllydu·3d

please don’t smoke your strawberry ice vape around my baby. he does not like that flavor

English

2.2K

36.5K

730.3K

Matt@Mattbachus·3d

I’ll join the Taliban before I join CLEAR+

English

Matt@Mattbachus·6d

@VorosTwins You dorks stole this tweet.

English

DA VINKI@VorosTwins·6d

In Canada Hannah Montana is called Hannitoba Manitoba!

Indonesia

372

4.2K

92.9K

Matt nag-retweet

Terpene Hunter@SwishaShock·13 Nis

Bro is a dork

Hoop Central@TheHoopCentral

Drake’s seats for the Raptors game tonight. 🥶 (via @apox6ix)

English

304

1.9K

74.5K

2.1M

Matt@Mattbachus·11 Nis

Shoutout bubba the retard! Long time listener first time retard.

Ben Avery@benaveryisgood

Prediabetic snapback a-frame liver disease guys are the new sports media personalities. They’re all named like Danny Beers or Bubba the retard

English

Matt@Mattbachus·4 Nis

She just cannot keep her face out of trumps ass

TMZ@TMZ

Pam Bondi's portrait was tossed in the trash at the Department of Justice after Trump firing 👀 tmz.me/g6XfFwK

English

Matt@Mattbachus·18 Mar

There’s a man next to me eating a salad and drinking milk. Something so disgusting I might have to actually KMS

English

Matt@Mattbachus·17 Mar

I love @tonyhawk more than some members of my actual family and it’s not even close.

English

Matt@Mattbachus·17 Mar

When is @PopTartsUS gonna do the right thing and put three in the foil instead of just two?

English

Matt nag-retweet

Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸@SmalltimeJones·13 Mar

gotta say, sitting in an office chair at a boardroom table dry firing a rifle before downing a pint glass of scotch and a couple inside cigarettes while your underlings have to watch and clap looks like a sick as hell life for ballers

Clash Report@clashreport

📸 Kim Jong-un testing new North Korean guns.

English

106

980

18.3K

948.9K

Matt nag-retweet

SPIN@SPIN·6 Mar

Future Islands change their lives with a Letterman performance of 'Seasons (Waiting on You)' Just bask in Samuel T. Herring’s incredible movements and impassioned vocals, not to mention the propulsive band around him, 12 years ago today. (📹 via @letterman on IG)