Reverend Hacker

My wife has scheduled a couples therapy session for Friday She said it's "non-negotiable" I said "everything is negotiable" I told her Friday is packed and asked if we could push it She looked at the ceiling Why does she keep doing that Then she handed me a list Printed Single spaced Two pages I said "what is this" She said "everything you've done in the last month that we need to discuss with the therapist" I stopped at line twenty-three Not because I was ashamed Because the formatting was inconsistent Some lines had periods Some didn't I made a note I said "can I bring my analyst" She said "only if I can bring mine" I don't know what that means But her tone suggested I shouldn't ask I brought the list to the office this morning Handed it to my analyst He got two lines in and said the formatting is off I have trained him well He said "I blocked two hours Friday boss man" The session is one He said "you'll need the second for the debrief" Then he asked if I wanted him to take my cargo shorts to the dry cleaners before Friday I said no I have seven identical pairs He said "I know. I ordered them." Open to suggestions on key talking points and leverage Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

Update: didn't realize my parent-teacher conference went viral Until the teacher called my wife saying she saw it My wife asked why strangers on the internet care about our life I said "I don't know. I just write down what happens." She said "that's the problem" She's probably right A follow-up conference has been scheduled This time she requested my wife come alone I was not invited First time I've ever been excluded from a meeting I didn't want to attend It stung more than I expected But I have my wife's calendar synced to my phone Will I attend anyway? Of course Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone