Steven Saint Goth

Most albums by The Cure sync up perfectly the movie "Free Willy" in reverse.

And sometimes you get struck by lighting. RT: @ chuckwatkinsesq Sometimes when you throw caution to the wind, you learn how to fly a kite!/

Sent this Valentine off to the girl I'm fucking behind her boyfriend's back. lockerz.com/s/183754982

I only have sex with people I despise, which is why I absolutely hate my right hand.

Don't tell anyone, but my whole act is basically an @Jim_Hamilton impression.

"Who's dick do I have to suck to get some pussy around here?" -confused straight guy, right before he gave me a blowjob

No. RT @ChuckWatkinsEsq: Is it still a multiple personality disorder if you give all your personalities Twitter handles?

Love is in the air today, but that's just because my farts smell like candy.

When it comes to dominatrixes, Free-Dom isn't free.

No show on TV better exemplifies how life=pain=comedy better than America's Funniest Home Videos.

It's always awkward when people ask if I'm a cutter. Then I have to explain that there's a big difference between cutting & stabbing.

Went out to eat fellow comic @ChuckWatkinsEsq, & I drew this on the back of the kid's menu. Chuck looks angry at me. lockerz.com/s/183187343

In the winter, I specialize in making transgendered snow-people.

Great- now what's my goth inspired, cover band "Whitney Ft. Worth" supposed to do?

Life is like a box of chocolates- disgusting.

Life is like a box of chocolate: disgusting.

I like my cup of coffee like I like my women: empty.

Best "march of the penguins" homage ever

Madonna is TRON