Stuff Drake Does

As Drake rinses his hair, he stares at the bottle of Johnson & Johnson shampoo. "No more tears" it reads. He sighs. "Maybe one day."

3:33pm. Miami. Drake skips around his garden while on the phone. “Okay, and what time do you need me to be there?” Drake asks his florist. “They’re selling out fast,” the florist replies. “You better get here ASAP.” Drake stops skipping. “What the heck did you just call me?”

“It’s okay,” Drake smiles, softly. “It happens to us all sometimes… It’s all about how you pick yourself back up.”

11am in Hollywood. A frown crinkles Drake’s forehead before he lets out a big sigh. He puts his phone down and stares at the ceiling. “Guess you can’t even trust yourself anymore,” he mutters.

January 1. 12:01 A.M. A man shouts "New year new me!" Drake smiles to himself and thinks, "Maybe the new me will be the one for her."

9pm. Toronto. As Drake settles down to watch Netflix, "This story is based on true events" flashes up on his television screen. Drake closes his eyes, smiles, and takes a deep breath. "Good," he whispers. "I'm tired of being lied to."

May 30th. Drake sits in a chair in the corner of a dark room, another sleepless night looming. His phone is the only source of light in the room, illuminating the tears slowly rolling down each cheek. “I can explain this...” he whispers to himself while pulling up the notes app.

After playing Fortnite for 3 hours straight, Drake says goodbye to Ninja and turns off his PlayStation, carefully setting down his headset on the desk. Silence fills his house as he sits in darkness, looking around his bedroom. "Huh," he grunts. "My very own Lonely Lodge."

6pm, a local gas station. Drake gently runs his hand across the hood of his car as the tank fills. "Now only one of us is empty" he thinks

Through sunglasses, Drake gazes up to admire the solar eclipse before returning inside. "The light left my life a long time ago," he sighs.

10pm. Local park. Pokémon GO. Drake shrugs as a Pikachu escapes his Pokéball and flees. "Huh," he sighs. "Not the only one who got away."

1st December. Shopping mall. A guy dressed as Santa spreads festive joy. "Ho ho ho!" he yells. "She is," Drake sighs. "But I can fix her."

Scrolling through Amazon, Drake tries to concentrate on the deals but his mind wanders. "Every day is black without her," he sighs.

Walmart. Drake strolls through, stopping to pick up some batteries. "It's okay guys," he whispers. "I'm not included in anything either."

Drake's lip begins to quiver as he watches the Mayweather v Pacquiao highlights. "I wish you hugged me like that when we fight," he weeps.

A week has passed. Drake sits in his armchair in darkness, contemplating as his phone lights up his face. "Where are we?" he texts Madonna.

"Black and blue, white and gold, who cares?" Drake ponders. "Nobody shows their true colors these days anyway."

Drake hears a notification and rushes to answer. Trivia crack says it misses him. He thinks, "Why couldn't it be her?"

"What a catch from Chris Matthews!" the Super Bowl commentator says. In his armchair, Drake sighs. "Like me catching feelings," he thinks.

As Drake patiently waits for his Minute Rice to cook, he contemplates, then says aloud, "I'd wait forever for you"