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"Choking during sex is trending"
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"Ms. Freitag, as a therapist, you specialize in trauma and porn addiction. Why?
Because pornography is now one of the biggest risk factors for sexual violence. Furthermore, pornography has fundamentally changed relationships between men and women. Sexual violence has always existed, but pornography in the hands of children and young people has become a global accelerant. And this is true in every social class. For example, even in good, empathetic families, it's not uncommon for a brother to reenact pornographic content with his sister. Children often see their first pornography as soon as they have their own smartphone.
Don't children find this repulsive?
According to a recent study by the North Rhine-Westphalia State Media Authority, more than a third of children and teenagers say they want to try out the content from pornography in real life. The boys surveyed said this significantly more often (43 percent) than the girls (27 percent). And more than half of both boys and girls are inspired by the content for sexting, i.e., sending intimate content. Pornography portrays women's bodies as commodities. Boys learn to perceive girls as sexual objects, and girls learn to be that object. Is it any wonder, then, that more and more girls want to become OnlyFans creators, i.e., camgirls, and boys want to become OnlyFans managers, i.e., digital pimps? The normalization of pornography is the core problem today.
What does this normalization look like?
Many young people have internalized a pornographic mindset. They believe that sex is masturbation with interchangeable objects, serving only their own gratification. Where sex no longer has anything to do with intimacy and experiencing a loved one, it's no wonder that sex is supposed to happen the way it's portrayed in porn. Studies show that almost half of boys and girls consider violence during sex normal. Boys even believe that girls like to be hit and choked. Pornography has dehumanized the understanding of sexuality.
What do the women you treat say?
Many young women suffer under this pressure to conform. They're familiar with many pornographic practices because they've seen them in porn themselves. Nobody wants to be "prudish" or get dumped because of it. Friends tell each other: That's just how it is. You have to accept it. Pornographic practices have infiltrated normal relationships. One persistent, dangerous trend is choking. Even 13 percent of teenage girls experience this in relationships. Among female college students in the US, it's as high as 58 percent. My patients were terrified because their boyfriends suddenly choked them during sex. In older relationships, men are less likely to act out brutal pornographic fantasies on their wives. They're more likely to do it with prostitutes. A husband's porn addiction is also increasingly becoming a problem for women."
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