Valgeir Automatique

Drunkenly cursing Kissinger.

Mocking Bridget Cojones.

Eavesdropping on East Coast Media Elite whispers. Icelandic ploy fraying fast.

Stuffing Tina into the Bronco.

Drinking drei Martinis.

Impersonating Nixon at biker bar.

Mocking American snowflakes at Frankfurter Hof.

Beethoven, manipulating endearingly from afar.

Namechecking Japanese friends, provincial fucks.

Helmut raiding the Mast Brothers stash. Handing him the Volkswagen keys.

Confusing Adorno and Horkheimer fondly.

Executing Grand Theft Budapest.

Turning to sexbots. Ladies demand far too much.

Ruining the Gandhi brand masterfully.

Hunting Saab thieves.

Looks like Reaganifying Iceland plan failing.

Watching Don Johnson in German.

Waiting for Gerard Depardieu's final sputter.

Passive-aggressively smiling at Olga.

Declaring myself an official disaster area.