will?

Pull up outside my son’s elementary school, house music playing so loud my eyes are bleeding. Throw my pickup in Neutral, floor the accelerator to let the boy know I’ve arrived. Realize I’m in Reverse as my rear bumper tears a crossing guard in half over the hood of another car

Mr Smith goes to Washington AND HE HAS A FUCKING GUN!!!

these are my children lorem ipsum and the quick brown fox.

(cumming after a perfectly normal amount of time) I’m so sorry, that’s never happened before

the mold in my water bottle Told me to bite an electrical cord

@yungfloop Terrible things

free will? what did he do

So done with twitter, see u all in two minutes

Eating a handful of Adderall and Wind surfing through the strait of Hormuz

Ok maybe I’m the problem

Having my boobs jerked off

you seem like the type of person i would kill with a rock

@bodycrave Not at all!

do you find men with big butt's attractive?

I built a nuclear fusion reactor in my garage this shit isn’t even hard

Did you seriously just go chasing waterfalls when I specifically asked you not to

slow blinking at the doctor who is about to euthanize me

when i was a little kid i'd daydream about a UFO vaporizing me in a single flash of perfect light

being paranoid is funny bc like what if i'm right

Wasting your entire life can feel daunting. Just focus on wasting one hour at a time and you'll get there