bones

if you’re not interested in hearing what my dogs have to say in the voice i think they’d say it in, don’t come over.

Hey cops stop taking drugs off the streets we're gonna need those

who notices how scared you are? that is where your soul is.

i've never punched a face but i’ve punched several asses.

Me at my 225th rodeo: "What the hell is going on?"

Let's both sleep in our jeans tonight baby

baby got backup camera problems

Sick and tired of these 30 minute weekends

Great story. Don't ever tell it again.

How the hell is it already October 16th, last time I checked it was 1998

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I wanted to skip this meeting.

Not now, I'm looking for a new weakness.

Got a student loan, just tryna fit in

All you idiots and dummies. You've ruined it for the rest of us regular morons.

i never know what to do with my face in photos.

down for a good bookshelving

Hobbies include withering in direct sunlight and stripping the soil of nutrients

My hidden talent is turning small issues into big issues through the power of *anxiety*

me: i think i might be pulling off sexy today. teeth with lettuce: not so fast.

sometimes when i'm sad i'll watch my dog eat a peanut.

I remember most things I've done by the food involved.