tan ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧

+ little baby me still wants to have an ending, yet here I am enduring the pain with no proper closure. wishing upon the stars as I fall deeply into the stars tonight, that miracles can happen, even if not now, then in the future. ────୨bumi and borlogৎ──── 🦖

+ but one thing is for sure: I loved this person unconditionally with my whole heart. still hoping for a change, but i think hope is not enough for all of these. I still have the ring, necklace, pictures, letters, and memories, but all of these will be buried with my ashes.

this is probably the last sentiment I’ll say publicly. i still can’t find my peace after months of searching, or even in the next few years. i don’t understand how things changed so quickly, yet I’m still here, stuck in this time loop, searching for answers, for something, +

sertraline and xanor will hate to see me again but please i don’t want to see him/her again ahdkajkdoa

i still can’t believe that my panic attacks are coming back at a random 3pm in a busy area or when i’m having fun

+ i just want to be known, and people generally stop treating me like a toy. i wish to be okay, to live a normal life, and to be cared again as a human being. thank you, and goodnight.

+ when i get back to manila. i’m still crying because it feels like i’m reliving what happened in 2023 with my mental being. im confused, lost, and i suddenly don’t have the spark anymore. i want to thrive, but i can’t find the peace without actions. its unfair. +

this might be the craziest part of my year. i’ve been crashing out since last year, but this is the worst it’s ever been. i’m thinking about the past, present, and future all at once, while also dealing with ongoing physical medical issues that needed to be handled quickly +

how am i supposed to find peace

kept the flowers by my heart, not the blooming kind but the ones left in a vase too long, petals falling one by one. i keep them anyway.

I know I'll be alright Someday I'll be fine But just not tonight

i cant control myself i dont know what to do i dont know what to say i just want to be held once again

It’s that time of the year again, but it’s not the same anymore without the one I once had.

severely sick, exhausted, crying, and im all by myself

@gieemh cant send you a dm po