lars

@aliyahInterlude I’m 4’9 and dressed up as Snooki and walked around town borderline blackout as ppl cheered me on (thankfully I wasn’t arrested)

Got ahold of the bars TouchTunes…everyone better enjoy this bc it costed $5

LYRIC OF THE YEAR IS HERE

gusto ko makipaghalikan sa babae tapos kakain kami sa Jollibee pagkatapos

Song describes my summer coworker situationship fr

@itgirlsol @johnsummit bc it reminds me of fighting for my life at barricade with way too much tequila in my system

seu caráter é definido por qual versão você escolhe

What’s with white ppl always running outside during an active tornado warning to take pics?!?

I will not tolerate the laufey hate!!

Shared my Twitter with a man and now he knows I’m yapping abt him. #imcrazybutimfree

Like a feral animal marking my territory (shedding hair on ppls couches)

do you ever feel really scared and panicked all of a sudden and send people weird clingy pathetic texts

Is it love bombing or am I just not used to affection

@mrslocal305 I wanted to tape my man’s nose shut yesterday bc at this point I’m convinced he’s suffering from the lack of oxygen in his sleep

my bf is snoring should i put him in the oven

This man said “gimme kiss” and I instantly folded bc I felt like Shane when Ilya said that same line

Was trying to be cool and mysterious except my ass showed up on the Jumbotron of an nhl game and now my boss found out I was on a date 😵‍💫

Couldn’t bag a man so instead taking over his lease

@mrslocal305 Yes

ok I have a lot of male followers and I need to know Do u find Lana del Rey hot

@awsten And I thought the bus catching on fire was bad

WATERPARKS WERE THE TARGETS OF AN ARMED ROBBERY ON THE RECENT TOUR

i’ve pulled everyone i wanted, just can’t make them stay #crazynotugly

@mrslocal305 Istg she always has the best bday plans

my roommate decided on mexican food, margaritas, and laser tag for her bday i literally am counting down the days, can we normalize doing shit like this for bdays

1st base: fucking 2nd base: forcing him to watch heated rivalry so that he could also appreciate the masterpiece