Luke’s Limericks

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Luke’s Limericks

Luke’s Limericks

@lukeesimons

I write limericks for fun and rant about Philly sports

Pennsylvania, USA Sumali Ağustos 2014
461 Sinusundan266 Mga Tagasunod
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
2 in 1 today I’ve never had too much to say ‘Til rhyming filled my everyday And from the start You’ve had my heart That’s where these lines shall always stay Thank you all for going on this journey with me ❤️ It’s been fun✌🏼
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons

I am going to tweet a limerick each day until quarantine is over. Allow me to begin: I crave a sense of belonging It’s almost rather alarming Each day I flip seven cars And wander both near and far Should I take up pumpkin carving?

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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
I’ll take the fall for you tonight While squeezing into pants so tight Don’t make peep Just grab a cheek Perhaps I’ll let you take a bite
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
Adore me in the fondest way So that I’ll always want to stay For home is where I find your hair From here we both shall never stray
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
If only I could see your face Outside of this obnoxious place No guards, no bars Just sun and cars I never thought I’d love a basket case
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Luke’s Limericks nag-retweet
MLB Pipeline
MLB Pipeline@MLBPipeline·
MLB's No. 1 prospect Konnor Griffin is set to make his big league debut for the @Pirates today, so we're giving away a signed jersey! Follow and repost for your chance to win.
MLB Pipeline tweet mediaMLB Pipeline tweet media
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
The Easter bunny said to me: “Go ‘head and fill your day with glee” His chocolate ears Then disappeared And left a torso drenched in pee
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
My balding neighbor won’t reveal The secret to his sex appeal I thought he lacked Skills in the sack But ladies love a navy seal
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
A wretched rat with rabies rides A rusty, rotting, ringless bride Round rubies roar Red roses soar We reap the wrong rewards with pride
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
Found limp across the avenue: A vixen hiding from the zoo But worry not She’s just been caught Entangled with Pepé Le Pew
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
A click, a clack, a paddy whack Just sent my booty busting back You like my moves? I’ve got the groove All piled in this six-foot stack
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Luke’s Limericks nag-retweet
MLB Pipeline
MLB Pipeline@MLBPipeline·
Andrew Painter makes his MLB debut for the @Phillies tonight, so we're giving away a signed ball! Follow and repost for your chance to win.
MLB Pipeline tweet media
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
The force within this tethered heart Will never tear our love apart Some tender care May leave you bare So save your tears before I dart
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
A bozo walked across the street With nothing but his own two feet Then suddenly His soul broke free From life in a nudist retreat
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
A diet full of processed meat With milk straight from a heifer’s teat May disrupt some This bull ain’t one Bring on the glorious meal so sweet!
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
The most illicit type of scheme Is one you’ll never quite redeem When shades of grey Are on display I’ll dangle from the trapeze beam
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
If only you could comprehend What waits around the river bend I’ll hold your hand Just like we planned Before you lose your mind again
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
I’m ready for the whoosh of air When balls start flying past my hair You want some fun? Go hit and run And hope that dinger holds on fair
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
I’ve lost the goldenrod bidet That makes my anus shout “Hooray!” I just can’t savor Toilet paper Stuck between these cracks of clay
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Luke’s Limericks
Luke’s Limericks@lukeesimons·
A misinformed rhinoceros Tried excavating Toys-R-Us The scooters flee From aisle three Good luck corralling Barbie’s bus
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