limited edition pet rock

please, pogchamp was my father. call me poggers.

i should become a window designer

i identify as a lesbian as a gender identity, not a sexuality. idk if this makes sense goodbye

someone got trapped in the elevator at gfs work

i’m a simple man with a simple birthday present plan - buy me 50% off halloween candy

it’s not a bad thing!! i meet some cool people!! but why is that was my drunk brain wants to do

why is it that during every fucking house party i go to i end up following people on instagram

@loverofmine99 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIEEEEE 🎉🫶

yayyyy! :)

[ New, more accurate translation of the OFFICIAL ORIGIN OF THE POKÉMON UNIVERSE ] In the beginning, there was a vortex of chaos. All mixed slowly together, and everything was a blur. One day, a large egg appeared in the center of the chaos. For a long time, the egg continued to shake. Eventually, the vortex stopped, and the egg broke. The absolute god AUS was born. The scattered fragments of the egg transformed into giants, and attacked the newly born AUS. However, AUS quickly grew, and continuously defeated the giants. At last, after a fierce battle, AUS defeated all the giants. The wounded AUS created an alternate self. As the left and right side of AUS’s body were different, it created two selves. AUS gathered the body of the defeated giants, and poured its blood into them. From the one who resembled his left poured out light, so AUS named it IA, the god of light. From the one who resembled his right poured out darkness, so AUS named it EA, the god of darkness. To the two, AUS commanded that the world be filled with people, and fell into a deep slumber. Although IA and EA were different in appearance, they loved one another, were joined, and had many children. However, there still existed no world, and their frail children, who had nowhere to go, died one after the other. Though overcome with great sadness, IA and EA thought of creating a world where all could live healthy and prosperous lives. IA and EA called their children REI, the god of eyes; AI, the god of heart; and HAI, the god of voice. When REI open its eyes, everything that was there appeared. There was now contour and color in the world. When AI wished for it, everything that was there could be felt. A sense of calm spread. When HAI shouted, everything that was there trembled. A blessed timbre began to resonate. To the three, IA and EA gave the seed of life and told them to nurture it. The three gathered in a circle and prayed, and the seed sprouted. The sprout quickly grew, and became the giant tree of life. However, the tree continued to grow, soon filling the entire world, and no one was able to move. The three asked Father IA and Mother EA for help. EA and IA joined once again, and had three children. The god of the sky, RAYQUAZA; the god of the earth, GROUDON; and the god of the ocean, KYOGRE were born. RAYQUAZA wrapped its body around the tree of life. GROUDON and KYOGRE slammed their bodies into the tree of life. Eventually, the tree fell and broke into three pieces. REI, AI, and HAI prayed, saddened that the tree would rot away like this. Then, the pieces of the broken tree would transform into the sky, earth, and ocean. RAYQUAZA became the pillar that holds the sky. The shadow that reached into the heavens became the three gods who sustain the sky: KAIRYU, KABIGON, and BANGIRAS. The air filled the sky, and the stars sparkled. GROUDON became the land that covers the earth. The roar of the diving land became the three gods who sustain the earth: DAABU, SAAN, and GOODON. The earth shook, and the mountains stirred. KYOGRE became the veins of water that embraced the oceans. The ripples that disappeared into the seas became the three gods who sustain the ocean: LATIAS, METAGROSS, and LATIOS. The ocean was filled with water, and the waves whispered. Thus the world was born. IA and EA, and the various gods, were very pleased with this, and filled this world with their children. That peaceful world was a paradise for the children of god. The children of god would continue to multiply. Through that, words would change little by little. Over time, the gods began would call those who lived in the world by two names. The children of god who resembled the great father, IA, would be called “Pokémon”. The children of god who resembled the great mother, EA, were called “humans”. The absolute god AUS will soon awaken, and seeing the world filled with its descendants, will promise great abundance and prosperity. (Thanks /vp/ for this one)

🌻 SUNFLOWER GARDEN 🌻 COMING OCT 20TH @ 10AM PST (+ GIVEAWAY) To celebrate the launch, I’m giving away a $200 USD shopping spree on our new collection! RULES: 💛 RT & like this post 💛 Follow us Open worldwide! Ends Oct 18th ✨ Details + extra entries below!

it’s baffling that some people just do not check the weather

love that my cat eats flies like go get that fly!! please. i want it gone

important information i missed here. pasta shapes

the alphabet soup successor, shape soup (combining all the shapes into one dish)

love babysitting for a week & then immediately getting ask to do cat sitting for the same family next week

“oh btw the old site director left” (she knows i’ll ask to come back if that happens) (i’m gonna ask to transfer back)

shout out to the mom that’s keeping me updated on what’s going on at my old site

shout out to the guy on the bus showing off his fresh peaches & freeze dried honey. wish that were me

@loverofmine99 i haven’t gotten sick yet so i think i’m good

@wabble_bee HELLO???😭 are you ok😭

i need to stop accidentally eating mold

it’s been many hours but lots has happened. i’ve learned that violet wants to touch a wild armadillo. we almost hit a deer but we stopped and it was very respectful to wait for us to stop

road trip thread. we have eaten donuts. violet sent me multiple knight vs gnome tiktoks