Autonomics

So what's up with Mardi Gras? Is it a Grateful Dead thing?

@andy_sell Please just tell me no it's the children who are wrong come on bro please I just wanna laugh again

I just turned 30 and boy are my arms tired. Also my legs. Actually, my whole body. I'm so fucking tired all the time please God why does it have to be this way

Also, I feel like if my parents got eaten by a thunder rhino I’d probably buy magic black light worms from the bard from Dragonheart too. See what happens. You can really only go up from the thunder rhino thing

I’m sorry Roald Dhal but you need more continuity in your plotting. Kid’s parents get eaten by a thunder rhino and he flies to NYC in an oversized, bug-infested piece of fruit? Need a second act here bud

In James and the Giant Peach, the kid’s parents literally get eaten by a giant thunder rhino. It’s not symbolic. it’s real. Like “yeah this is a huge peach, the songs are great, but my fucking parents got devoured by a thunder rhino”

What's YOUR favorite comically ridiculous way that probably is how primary voting works?

@jkap @bransonreese Lol

@MeepingTheBand You've made a terrible mistake starting a twitter account my friend no good will come of it here there be monsters

To hell with poverty. We'll get drunk on cheap wine.

Cause Hindsights 2020!!!

Wish there was a political conditate named senator Rob Hindsights just cause his bumper stickers would be lit af.

combination stray cat shelter/ recording studio: tabby road

Father Time can be cruel to us all but Step-Father Time is just a porn category. Remember that as you embrace the future with open arms

A Village People reboot but without that one guy. You know the one I mean.

HAULIN CUUUBE

Everybody got mullets these days but don't even listen to the real shit

Like, maybe it's an east coast thing, but has anyone actually seen some famously huge diamond on display in any museum? Feel like it's a fairly common heist movie setting but like I've never just seen one chilling in a glass case next to the caveman exhibit idk

If I ever hit rock bottom I hope its in the sense that someone finds me shirtless bare knuckle boxing in a warehouse south of the border and makes disparaging comments about how I used to be the best before asking if I've still got it in me to pull one last job

Might just have winter dementia but could swear I just saw an ad for Pokémon: Black Cherry Whiteclaw

Thank you all for your support! Last night was a real ripper with @autonomics and @dukeeversband. We’ll see ya real soon on 1/31 with the homies @VanLavishPDX and @thesonicsplits at highwatermarklounge!… instagram.com/p/B7hBgJOBhQQ/…