Nonce

imagine not liking me and i’m in my room doing this

BREAKING: The new Florida map has passed in the state senate — It now heads to DeSantis' desk to be signed into law!

Timeless.

dude im losing my fucking mind over this image please tell me you see him too

“While we may have big problems with illegal immigration in this country. I have to tell you, we have an even bigger problem when it comes to the systemic indoctrination and radicalization of our own citizens.”

This dude is lying or a major pussy. No woman has ever referred to her boobs as cannons. Doesn’t pass the sniff test.

Who’s next

TMZ: “Are we going to have a female president first or a g*y president?” Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY): “Well, we don’t know if we’ve already had a g*y president. I think there’s chances maybe we have but I don’t know.”

Former FBI director James Comey has been charged over an Instagram post prosecutors allege threatened Donald Trump’s life. The case centers on a photo of seashells arranged as “8647,” which some interpret as slang for “get rid of 47.” Comey surrendered to law enforcement this morning following the indictment, but denies any intent to promote violence.

Dear girls Left or right ??

Is it ethical to equip this thing with a strap and let it have its way with me?

It's been 7 months since we had our baby and we're still receiving unexplained hospital bills in the mail. Hardly ever an adequate description of services. Just a QR code to pay online. It feels intentionally confusing and difficult to get answers. We want price transparency.

Dear Jimmy Kimmel, listen to me very closely. I’m a comedian. I’ve made fun of Jill Biden. I’ve made fun of Michelle Obama. I’ve roasted First Ladies before. But I have never in my life joked about Jill Biden becoming a widow or Michelle Obama becoming a widow. I’ve never joked about Joe Biden or Barack Obama having an attempt made on their life. I’ve never laughed at the thought of their wives standing there in fear, wondering if their husbands are going to make it home alive. Because that is not comedy. That is sick. You could have joked about Melania being married to Trump. You could have joked about politics. You could have even gone after her accent like liberals usually do. But no — you chose to joke about Melania Trump becoming a widow. And let’s be honest, Jimmy: when you hate Donald Trump as much as you do, that doesn’t sound like a joke. It sounds like how you really feel. They always say there is truth in comedy.

if ur not polyamorous how are you ok with ur partner watching porn they're looking at someone naked that isn't you 😭

Alfonso Ribeiro and his wife Angela have been married for 12 years! ❤️

What the FUCK is my timeline???

What’s your first thought when you see these nachos?