Cow Tools 2

@CococonutGun We’re not doing this again

would you misgender transgender hitler?

Twitter is less fun because you can no longer tell who is naturally dumb and who is trying to make rent from ragebait

@slothy_420 Pilchard. I don’t eat fish, but I sure am a fan of Canned Fish Files w/ Matthew Carlson on YouTube. And if i’ve learned anything from him, it’s what a pilchard is. What a fun fish name to say. Pilchard

gun to your head name a fish

@SpryArcaneMage @slothy_420 Fish Blade

@slothy_420 Well phylogenetically, all land vertebrates are within the fish blade, which mea— BLAM

@MinModulation Unironically

we as a society must stop saying "Google it" which supports an evil corporation. We should instead adopt the phrase "Traverse the archives"

@sideshowbooob @emily_sipiora Lowkey what some Asian countries did with Spam

@emily_sipiora Ham needs a girly rebrand

We make $3 sardines $9 by adding a paisley design on the box

Hold ‘em at gunpoint and rant about percussion instruments, call that a glock n’ spiel

CITIZEN! A SUBLITERATE OFFICER OF THE LAW HAS IDENTIFIED YOU AS SUSPICIOUS. PLEASE ABANDON ALL SURVIVAL INSTINCTS AND PREPARE TO BE MOLESTED.

If people are fighting for an orb you are reading fantasy. If people are fighting for a cube you are reading sci-fi. If it has more sides than that. I dont know. I dont know man.

Crunishment

@frogs4girls Wait…

shall i compare thee to a melody in my head?

i have no talent and i must create

@Allsdolllapp @MinModulation Not all meanings gotta be conveyed

@MinModulation There's no other way to convey the same meaning

please do not say you "consume" media. it is crude and vulgar

@witchwounds Mourning what could have been and what will be. Always. But also full of love for what is

who else up mourning what could have been

@kuriiia People’s complete disregard for this fact is responsible for SO many of our problems

finding out you don't know shit is a very important part of the learning process

Y’all ever think about Wikipedia? How we’re alive at the same time as Wikipedia? Like damn I got lucky

--WHAT IS BEING A MARINE, SOLDIER? --SIR IT MEANS WHEN YOU ASK ME TO JUMP I ASK HOW HIGH SIR! --GOOD. AND YOU, SOLDIER! WHAT ARE YOU? --SIR I AM A UTILITARIAN SIR! --AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? --SIR YOU ASK ME IF IT'S WRONG TO TORTURE BABIES FOR FUN AND I ASK FOR HOW MUCH FUN SIR