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⠀ᴘᴀʀᴏᴅʏ / ꜰᴀᴋᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ
ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ
ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴅᴇᴘᴘ
ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ & ᴅᴇꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴠᴇ
ʟᴇᴡᴅ ᴘᴏʀᴛʀᴀʏᴀʟ ᴏɴʟʏ
ɴꜱꜰᴡ & ᴛᴀʙᴏᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ
ʟɪᴋᴇ & ʀᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ
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𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ
37 posts
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
I know.
I know, I know.
Yes, he gets on my nerves too, babygirl. He's a fucking twat, isn't he?
Yeah, but listen, let's not waste our time together bitching about him, OK?
Now, did you eat something today? Half a bowl of muesli?! That's my girl! 😊
Daddy loves you too, babe.
English
@PrintOrBeDamned I insist, thank you. You're doing me a favor and I owe you. Ask me anything, I'll do it.
Here's her number, take good care of my babygirl...
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@LewdJohnnyDepp Yeah, yeah, I'm a saint, aren't I? Whatever, Johnny. Just give me her number, and I'll see what I can do, yeah?
You're lucky it's Sunday and I haven't got much else on.
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Hold your horses there, Tonto.
You can't just go pimping out your daughter to strange men she hasn't even met, even if you and I are old pals. You know I'm a feminist, right?
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ@LewdJohnnyDepp
@PrintOrBeDamned Well, what can I say? I'm a bad husband, I'm a bad father. That's why I'm looking forward to you being my daughter's new "Daddy". I know you'll do a better job than me and make her happy.
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@PrintOrBeDamned Yeah, thanks man. I owe you.
Just take her, use her, abuse her... Punish the brat, I can’t do it myself but she deserves it!
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@LewdJohnnyDepp Kids, eh? Who'd have 'em? 🙄
Still, I suppose she's not really your little girl to worry about any more, is she? You're lucky you have such a generous friend like me, mate.
I'll take her off your hands. No problem.
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@PrintOrBeDamned Yep, what can I do. It was real alcohol on set of Pirates, no props. Someone had to drink it, I wasn’t gonna waste all of this delicious beverage!
And yeah, I know she is ashamed of her father because she didn't even testify for me on my trail. That fucking sucks, man.
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@LewdJohnnyDepp It's pitiable.
I can't imagine how your poor daughter puts up with you. Is it any wonder that whenever you're together, she always seems to be looking into the camera like she's on The Office.
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@PrintOrBeDamned steal all my money**
// sorry, blame it on the autocorrect
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@PrintOrBeDamned Fuck her.
She broke my heart, cut my finger, hit me, spat on me, ballbusted me, destroyed my career and tried to she'll all my money.
Fuck the bitch.
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Heeeey!! Johnny-Johnny! The man himself! Ahoy there! 🏴☠️
How're you doin', man? You look... Well, you don't look like you used to. But it's been a long time. We're none of us getting any younger, eh?
Haven't seen you since... God, it's been too long, man.
𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ@LewdJohnnyDepp
@PrintOrBeDamned No regrets. That’s my motto. This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Pugwash.
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@PrintOrBeDamned You're fucking joking, aren't you? You're shitting me.
Of course I can get up, those knees are used to begging. I do it on a daily basis, mister.
If that's what it takes, I'll do it.
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Maybe if you asked me nicely, I could be persuaded? You know, like if you got down on your knees and begged me to fuck your daughter? 🤔
Yeah. Maybe.
You are going to be able to get up again, right? If you're down on your knees begging, I mean? You are a bit wobbly nowadays.
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@PrintOrBeDamned Tonto? Eh, that's how Amber used to call me in bed.
Hold it, feminist? Really? Woah, didn't see that one coming. I'm not up to date with all that woke crap. Not sure I'm interested in knowing more tho, should I?
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It's OK. I know the world's kind of passed you by in a bit of a winesoaked haze since... What, Pirates 4?
I can forgive you for not being as 'woke' as I am.
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@PrintOrBeDamned And sure can do. I'm lucky enough to hear my own daughter being railed by a friend of mine, I couldn't ask for more!
Thanks, I knew I could always count on you.
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@PrintOrBeDamned Well, what can I say? I'm a bad husband, I'm a bad father.
That's why I'm looking forward to you being my daughter's new "Daddy". I know you'll do a better job than me and make her happy.
English
Sounds like a plan. Are you free this weekend? I could easily arrange that... But you know, I’d really appreciate it if you let me watch. From a distance of course, I wouldn’t want to disturb you!
Jack Savage@PrintOrBeDamned
Johnny, your little girl seems an enchanting young coquette. You really must introduce us, sometime. I'd like to take her out for a romantic meal at a nice restaurant, then spend the next three hours holding her hair back while she retches it all back up again in the ladies'. 💕
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𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀👑
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐄. 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐧
𝑫𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒈𝒆
𝑫𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑮𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔
𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒔
𝑾𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒐𝒓 𝑹𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒚
𝑸𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒕
𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓
𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝑾𝒊𝒇𝒆
⠀♡ ╱ ↻
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𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
Pfft. I still make a ton of money, I couldn’t care less.
Jack Savage@PrintOrBeDamned
The absolute state of this man. It's sad, what he's reduced to now. He used to be the biggest star in the world. Now look at him. 😔
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@PrintOrBeDamned No regrets. That’s my motto.
This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Pugwash.
English
And @LewdJohnnyDepp? Christ, he used to be the MVP. He'd swagger in, doing his whole pirate thing - guyliner, funny walk, voice like Dot Cotton - moistening knickers wherever we went.
He's a fucking liability now. Bloated with the drink. Looks more like fucking Captain Pugwash.
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Last night's little debauch has made me miss the old days, to be honest.
Back when 'The Jack Savage Pussy Posse' would roll into town and everybody had to lock up their wives and daughters!
God, I miss the boys.
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@maddiezee_p @PrintOrBeDamned Very glad to see you guys like my babygirl...
She deserves the best in the world!
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@PrintOrBeDamned @LewdJohnnyDepp We all got da bitch face in us Jack…Especially when you’re being sexist and uncouth, which is like always.
Come to think of it she’d probably fit in perfectly next to Dannii #FaceLikeASmackedAss
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𝘿𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙆 𝘾𝙐𝘾𝙆 .ᐟ ری ٹویٹ کیا
❧ FAKE / PARODY ACCOUNT
❧ LITERATE & DESCRIPTIVE
❧ NSFW / LEWD PORTRAYAL
GIF
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