Felix Felicis

Operation pull my head out of my ass completed. Next up, continue being somebody who doesn’t accept less than what I deserve.

That one hurt.

Drug commercials be actual wild. Like here’s a list of the benefits, some mild side effects and then, in the last millisecond, they slide in the craziest shit like “tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection first.” Okay, yeah. I do be forgetting the parasites.

I’m running out of suns to yeet myself into.

don’t do the thing wait until you’re chiller don’t do the thing wait until you’re chiller don’t do the thing wait until you’re chiller don’t do the thing wait until you’re chiller don’t do the thi- I did the thing.

Honestly, shoving ten pounds of crazy into a two pound box (and welding the lid on) so you don’t scare off the first person you’ve genuinely vibed with in awhile should count as cardio.

One day I’ll find all of the mis-matched AirPods that have scuttled off to corners unknown in my house. Today is not that day.

Brb. Yeeting myself into the sun.

I’ve gotten shot at and ratted/murdered in both of the games I’ve played today during Shared Watch. Who could have seen this coming. #ArcRaiders #SharedWatch

GleamingSpark shot me in the back after I dropped them a Rocketeer Driver at extract. Just ask. I’m happy to drop whatever you need. Please stop bumming me out by shooting me in the back (in passive lobbies) for shit I’d freely give you, dickbags.

@Divinepanda_E I don’t care if I die, but do it like a grown up.

It’s on sight, hoodterps. You merked me in the back of the head when I was crawling for extract after pretending you wanted to help me. Sack up and KO people in the face, you absolute twatwaffle. #ArcRaiders #SperanzaWatchlist

WE’RE BARELY A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH THIS SHIT. I’m tired.

You know, as proud as my cat is of his bhole, the least he could do is keep it clean before waving it around in my face. It’s like he’s never heard of a bidet.

Nothing good ever comes from hot mic-ing as a fill in squads. Also, if you’re my teammate don’t shoot me in the lobby. It’s usually a pretty good indicator of how the game is gonna go and imma dip now, thanks. #Fortnite

PLEASE TAKE THE SHIELDS; I JUST NEED YOU TO STAY ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO GET MY LLAMAS. 🦙😭 #Fortnite #BattleRoyale #Wambulance tiktok.com/t/ZP8yUrchn/

I’m tired. That’s enough internet for today.

@carniveris @DeadbyDaylight Respectfully, a 9/11 joke is in poor taste regardless of context.

@DeadbyDaylight THEY HIT THE PENTAGON

We welcomed the Halloween Chapter into The Fog a little over nine years ago, but the time has come for us to say goodbye to Lampkin Lane. The content of the Chapter will leave the in-game and first party stores on January 19th, 2026. All content unlocked before that date will remain available for players in game, but the Haddonfield Realm will no longer be accessible. To celebrate their time in The Fog, the content of the Chapter will be on sale on all platforms by December 22, giving you a chance to unlock the Characters and Cosmetics before they leave the store. Learn more 🔗 dbd.game/4pHl1iK

@PaulieEsther1 @Chey_ttv For your consideration, a sampling of the vibes in the House of Butts: 🤗😂💛 tiktok.com/t/ZP8UNnd5j/

@Chey_ttv 😭

Looking for dead by daylight content creators that STAY POSITIVE during their matches. I want to find streamers who aren't overly negative or complaining about a lot of their matches. My schedule is changing and I can't watch all of the streamers I used to and I need good energy!

@bugoniafilm is *possibly* the most UNHINGED cinematic experience I’ve had this year, but it’s *definitely* the most INTERESTING.