Matt

19.6K posts

Matt

@Mattbachus

Stand up comedian in NY. 10,000 laughs, Limestone, New York, SLO, Red Clay comedy festivals.

New York, NY شامل ہوئے Mart 2009

880 فالونگ1.5K فالوورز

پن کیا گیا ٹویٹ

Matt@Mattbachus·23 Eki

7 years of living in a windowless room in Brooklyn and I just signed a lease for a place with a window… I’m beyond excited to finally have something to jump out of.

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ShitpostGateway@ShitpostGate·10h

No need, he has his lucky Raccoon penis on him

Leading Report@LeadingReport

Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. seen not ducking for cover.

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Klara@klara_sjo·1d

l wonder if Jack Skellington thinks about fat white chicks that live in trailer parks as much as they think about him.

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ry@RyanNice·1d

for those wondering, he is dating Chris Chan

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juju 💰@ayeejuju·2d

a clown’s average salary is $40-$50k a year and here you are, being one for free

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Matt@Mattbachus·3d

The White Castle near my hotel has a 2.7 rating on google so you know it’s either about to be hittin’ or kill me at first bite.

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mau@rllydu·3d

please don’t smoke your strawberry ice vape around my baby. he does not like that flavor

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Matt@Mattbachus·3d

I’ll join the Taliban before I join CLEAR+

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Matt@Mattbachus·6d

@VorosTwins You dorks stole this tweet.

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DA VINKI@VorosTwins·6d

In Canada Hannah Montana is called Hannitoba Manitoba!

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Terpene Hunter@SwishaShock·13 Nis

Bro is a dork

Hoop Central@TheHoopCentral

Drake’s seats for the Raptors game tonight. 🥶 (via @apox6ix)

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Matt@Mattbachus·11 Nis

Shoutout bubba the retard! Long time listener first time retard.

Ben Avery@benaveryisgood

Prediabetic snapback a-frame liver disease guys are the new sports media personalities. They’re all named like Danny Beers or Bubba the retard

English

Matt@Mattbachus·4 Nis

She just cannot keep her face out of trumps ass

TMZ@TMZ

Pam Bondi's portrait was tossed in the trash at the Department of Justice after Trump firing 👀 tmz.me/g6XfFwK

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Matt@Mattbachus·18 Mar

There’s a man next to me eating a salad and drinking milk. Something so disgusting I might have to actually KMS

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Matt@Mattbachus·17 Mar

I love @tonyhawk more than some members of my actual family and it’s not even close.

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Matt@Mattbachus·17 Mar

When is @PopTartsUS gonna do the right thing and put three in the foil instead of just two?

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Matt ری ٹویٹ کیا

Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸@SmalltimeJones·13 Mar

gotta say, sitting in an office chair at a boardroom table dry firing a rifle before downing a pint glass of scotch and a couple inside cigarettes while your underlings have to watch and clap looks like a sick as hell life for ballers

Clash Report@clashreport

📸 Kim Jong-un testing new North Korean guns.

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SPIN@SPIN·6 Mar

Future Islands change their lives with a Letterman performance of 'Seasons (Waiting on You)' Just bask in Samuel T. Herring’s incredible movements and impassioned vocals, not to mention the propulsive band around him, 12 years ago today. (📹 via @letterman on IG)