Max Johnson

Porn is bad. There I said it.

My girlfriend cannot open a jar of tomato sauce. This is my time to shine.

Can anyone explain what is going on here? That’s the moon in the middle, what are those lines? They look like mountains or something but we don’t have mountains like that where I live.

People who watch anything other than POV, why would you watch anything other than POV?

Word of the day: Plateaued… What an ugly mess of vowels.

Do trees get tumors? Looks like they do to me.

In America, they say ‘It’s a free country.” but then they also say “Freedom isn’t free.”. So which one is it? Seems contradictory to me.

I am fully convinced I will never be able to correctly spell the word neighborhood without first looking it up. Like not even the auto correct can figure out what the hell I am trying to spell out, that’s how bad it is.

They say “Just be yourself.” and “Don’t be racist.” But what if I myself am racist?

If I ever became a boob doctor, I would change my last name to Squeezie. People would then have to refer to me as Dr.Squeezie.

“The experts say this, the experts say that.” Heyexperts! Shut the fuck up!

@gunsnrosesgirl3 So you can watch porn in public.

Privacy screen

Anyone else’s eyelashes so long they get tangled together in the corner of their eyes, shit fucking sucks!

Least intellectually dishonest democrat.

SPREAD LOVE, NOT HERPES