Ahmed Kayode🕊️

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Florentino Perez: “I have a plan for you, you keep your player and I keep my job”

“tinubu for another term” but you dey Canada. if na tinubu dey rule them for Canada, you for go there??

why tornados never hit banks? blow some money out that mf

Full time: Manchester United 8-2 Arsenal.

Una dey marry sha. You should better die single than marry one of these guttersnipes.

The things you do with baddies, you can't do with your wife. Your wife won't lick some caviar off your balls. Ask Belfort from Wolf of Wall Street. Alternatively, we can take a lesson from The Goodfellas. "Wives keep the empire looking legit; mistresses keep the party going."

🚨 JUST IN: Sources within Barcelona assure they had known for some time that Madrid would make this move for Julián Álvarez and that the offer would be rejected. They interpret it as confirmation that Florentino Pérez is more worried about who Barça might sign than strengthening his own team, reports SER. #FCB 📞🔵🔴

Signing Alvarez has to be a money glitch atp River Plate sold Alvarez for £14M Man City sold Alvarez for £82M Athletic Madrid rejected €150M for Alvarez now Bro is like fuel, Value always going up😭

😂😂😂😂😂

Enjoy your clout, Ronaldinho. No be your fault. Because I don't know if Ridwan is a farmer - shooting shots at a human lawn rake with 72 teeth. They can't even ask you to give head because one slurp and the entire cap disappears with shaft covered in blood.

Good morning Rufai, how are you and your family, I was told that on your program or platform you said Government gave Contractors 700 billion Naira, it is not true, what the promise to release to us was 40 billion and they said we will get the alerts over the weekend, only for us to see on the news of the lies of 700 billion Naira when even the 40; billion has not be released.

Babe fit de nice to you make you think say na green light. Babe fit de give green light make you think say she just de nice. If you never put bress for my mouth your green light na just rainbow.

"Connected without internet" is up there on the top two list of ragebaits😭

All the people that had so much to say about Qatar 4 years ago, are suddenly silent about the USA. All Qatar did was ask the world to respect its culture. The USA is violating every professional and ethical rule that governs the sport and everyone is silent.

job shaming is so lame. everybody is just trying to survive.

You would look at me and tell me not to give my daughter a shower because you're who na? You're already implying untoward behaviour. It is that day we will cure your madness.

The Profile of Nigerian Politician: Kids — UK, USA, Canada Pilgrimage — Saudi Shopping — Paris, Milan Houses — Abuja, Lagos, Dubai, London Bank — Switzerland Hospital — London, India Holidays — UAE or USA Fornication —Maldives, Mykonos Checkups — “Routine” trips abroad Constituency — Seen only during elections or primaries Promises — “We are working on it” Scandals — “Politically motivated" Light — 24/7 generator (NEPA is for vibes) Security — More guards than a bank vault Side hustle — Government contracts Cars — Bulletproof convoy, sirens screaming Country — Managed remotely. They d!e abroad and are brought back home for burial, Nigeria —Their cemetery But when it’s time to campaign: “My people… I feel your pain.” 🙂 If you like use your head this coming election or they use it for you as usual 🫵.

When you realize Americans eat pizza when they’re broke, but you only eat it when you get paid.

After I finish planning the wedding, 2.8M go remain.

APC — attacks Peter Obi ADC — attacks Peter Obi PRP — attacks Peter Obi APGA—attacks Peter Obi LP — attacks Peter Obi This can only mean 2 things: 1. He won the 2023 presidential election 2. They are scared he is the favorite candidate for 2027 election. It’s too late. Obi is the next president