𝓜𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓮

My doctor wants me to write down my activities during the day. The pervert.

No fun looking at yourself getting older, still better than looking at you.

Pretty sure I’m supposed to be living an island life in a soft striped robe jumper talking to my plants.

Anyone fancy a painful toothy beej?

Your dick pic made my chakras go all askew.

Women who’ve never been in a relationship longer than 2 weeks be like: there will never be another me.

@machiel1 Dan ben je wel toe aan een borrel.

In de metro naar Rotterdam, man man man, loopt heel Maassluis en Vlaardingen ofzo? #rotterdammarathon

Jimmie Vaughan, John Mayer, Doyle Bramhall & Gary Clark Jr. - "Pride and... youtu.be/S7KTyUk83f4?is… via @YouTube

@TPointUK @LozzaFox ‘It has happened to me.’ 🤡 Her tits are still on.

"It tires me that the left, while these girls are being raped and hung in Iran, they have nothing to say about it, not a word." Laurence Fox gives leftist student an education on Islamism! @LozzaFox

🤣🤣

The conspiracies about Epstein, yelling we should be awake by now, it’s officially released yet none of what you share is in the official documents. And btw: all the evil like raping babies: that does happen in rl, not just in epstein conspiracies.

I thought this was as funny as the kid did 🤣🤣 Oscar goes to Dad!

@machiel1 Ik dacht dat jij alleen gaten steunde.

RIP to a mate of mine. His wife sent him out to get some sewing thread but ended up in the pub all day. Gone but not for cotton...

Looking on Amazon for an upside down water bottle to hang next to my bed like a hamster.

These pants look like they're about to drop some sage advice.

Walking around at the mall because Im cool

Went to the store for exactly three things. Came home with $80 worth of stuff and only one of the things I actually went for. At this point, my brain is essentially a browser with 40 tabs open and you never know when one of them will stop responding.

*eating a happy meal* how long do i have

Sits my ass on your newspaper * Starts purring*

Life is precious. Not because it’s perfect, but because every moment is a chance to begin again.