Mikee Diablo

Happy New Skindred Day to all who observe. open.spotify.com/album/4A4hmu0p…

@nic_loves_metal Happy Birthday!

Good morning, I have birthday tea. This is 42 ☕️

Just had a pie from these folk that was the size of my head and I won’t need to eat for the next two to three working days. to-pie-for.co.uk

Got described as looking like a ‘sexy Santa’ last night, which is clearly ridiculous unless said Santa had fallen on very hard times and was begging for change outside the kebab shop.

If that rancid orange bastard is going to do what everyone thinks he’s going to do, can he at least wait until after tonight’s Sort Your Life Out? Stacey Solomon being enthusiastic about cleaning and tidying will probably help take the edge off.

@nic_loves_metal Well the jokes on you, as I’m so clumsy I’ll fall over anyway. Although I’m happy for you to claim the win if you need it.

I just wanna be the reason you fall over because you’re too busy staring at my arse

Nothing like giving your keyboard a slap on the bottom and seeing what pops out to realise what a disgusting filth pig you are. (Not code)

Today I will mostly be a spooky goose.

@Mish_Mash_x Maki and Ramen also a good shout.

@Mish_Mash_x If you like chicken, Yard & Coop is decent.

Round Two of this year’s Battle Sessions is upon us and it’s more stacked than my plate during pancake season. Get your lugholes around this lot. Free in and your votes will send one of these sexy beasts into the next round! Come down and get involved.

@nic_loves_metal I shall cancel the invite to the forthcoming BBQ. 😂

@MikeeDiablo I want no part of this 😂

Where my Sunday lifters at 👊

Today’s essential listening. Just wonderful. open.spotify.com/album/5aI0bwD4…

Just heard someone on commentary at Crufts talking about ‘presiding over the bitches’ which is a pretty poor show on International Women’s Day.

Crufts: some excellent dog photos I managed to get before being turfed out by security. Honestly, you throw one tennis ball and everyone loses their minds. Mainly the dogs to be fair.

Getting spicy on Lingo tonight…

Denizens of Newcastle / Cardiff (and surrounding areas). Go and see the comic stylings of one Melanie Bracewell. She’s been on Taskmaster New Zealand, went to see her tonight and she’s very funny indeed. Herein ends the advertising.

I don’t know what TV show or movie is shooting in Manchester city centre this week but as you’ve both made me late for work and cost me money to park miles away, I sincerely hope you all suffer scrot rot from now until forever.

Great British Menu: the male guest judge has just walked up to the sole female contestant and said “How’s your pickles?” It’s Gregg Wallace all over again.