Mike Crescenzo

@EvanEngram thanksgiving day... I want my 100$ hahah

Definition of fat: me ordering the $25 minimum of food just so I can get a $1.50 cannoli at 3am... mission accomplished

it costs 0 dollars to cut you off and i love free shit

When you try and stay away from the bad influences during the weekend only to realize you are the bad influence

I’d rather eat a Popeyes biscuit with no drink than trust some of these girls out here 🙌🏼

If you love someone let them go. If they come back, dog em the fuck out. They should have never left in the first place.

You know she's different when her last name in your phone is no longer where you met her

Crying from laughter** because anyone that wears hollister today probably wears open toe sandals without a beach in sight twitter.com/tbhadulting/st…

I wish there was a way to know when you were in the good ole days, before you actually left them because god damn I miss nap time

@tylerobrienn Today's generation: racist

If men are trash, women are raccoons 😂🙌🏼

Every time someone says "time heals everything"... I wanna respond with "yes but time kills you slowly"

Anti social, get the fuck away from me

God twitter.com/kesse_gh/statu…

A true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything

@tweetconnor180 Hahahaha not gay enough**

Being alone in an elevator always brings the weird out in me

@ftwgiovanni "Hit it 2 times than I like her"

They say if you sleep next to someone you love it reduces stress and depression... move over fridge we about to get real comfy 🙌🏼🙌🏼

I don't get why people at Chipotle are so stingy with scooping the food like Damn nigga you buy the chicken and sour cream yourself orrr 🙄