$wank

Lol

When you're 15 minutes into Netflix and chill and you give her that look

Niggas will eat ass but won't call Everest College

This has to stop my stomach can't take this 😂😂😂😂

When your grandma found out you ain't ate all day

#2014Faves RT @PINHEADROSS: When the teacher roasts you but she doesn't know you got an M9 in your backpack

*feminist complains about women being objectified in society and subsequently retweets a picture of a shirtless man*

McDonald's should have a third window where you can trade in all the wrong shit they gave you at the second window

When you hear a drunk girl say she can't find her friends

GTA 5 looks sick

id smash RT “@SophieLaine: o ok pic.twitter.com/Kn63JSqivK”

My anaconda is strongly considering it

When you're hiding in your sisters closet to scare her and she starts getting undressed

*hits blunt* That's it. That's the tweet

Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy.

Apple apologizing for the U2 thing by giving you a Justin Bieber album is like taking your cold away and giving you aids

When you're waiting on the cop to bring your license back and two more squad cars pull up

Lebron got his hairline back but ios8 won't let me keep my favorite apps pic.twitter.com/tRqq6U7n1q

When bae isn't bae anymore

*tries to get my shit together at 2am*