• 🦄📜 CooDuck🔊🧼📦 •

@F00d___Porn Ain't no cheese in a pot pie. 🤢

A potato pot pie 🥔

Humor maps the mind.

@namaewaharuto Now do one for chocolate milk. You think I'm joking but I'm telling you it will be so informative to the American public.

in case your mom didn't teach you 🥺

A wishful tweet about this country and current events:

Is Superman a daytime only hero?

@GloriousGod01 You're very ignorant.

Anal sex is very dangerous. Don’t even try it. 1. It rips your ass open. Tiny tears form easily and burn like fire every single time you shit. 2. You catch STIs much faster. Those tears let diseases like HIV, gonorrhea, herpes, and more flood straight into your bloodstream. 3. The tight ring that holds your shit in loosens from repeated pounding until you can no longer control it. 4. Hemorrhoids flare up badly. Swollen veins inside or outside your ass burst from the friction, and every time you sit down it feels like pure torture. 5. Chronic pain sets in that never fully goes away. It ruins sitting, walking, running, and every normal part of your daily life. 6. One day you will lose all bowel control. You will shit yourself at the worst possible moments with no warning. Your body was never built for anal sex. Respect it or pay a heavy price later. Above all, love God.

@Mr_SPICI Then the uterus isn't one either. Just the ovaries.

The ANUS is NOT a Sexual Organ, What do you think about this ?

Data shows nearly a million California residents never cashed in their pandemic relief debit cards This is $400 million dollars in untouched money sitting on cards “Statistics show nearly one million Californians never bothered to use their debit cards, leaving $400 million untouched. Another 4.5 million debit cards still have money left on them” “If card holders don't cash in by April 30th, all that money goes back to the state”

@JustinBPerfumer Ook. You've got some sense. I was worried you'd defend Norman Fucking Rockwell.

We stop at Honeymoon. If he's got either of them on vinyl it's a wrap.

@KR3Wmatic Only if you get off on it. 😃

Is it gay to help your male friend with amputated arms masturbate?🤔

Roots run deep!

@AlafinOfOgun YOU TOO LOUD!

Dear gay man, stop imagining your future with every person you are attracted to.

@dancanvell @engineers_feed I love when I'm wrong at these. Good catch!

@engineers_feed D, because the bulb is behind the jar

Question!

@engineers_feed B.

@equine__dentist Promises promises.

STOP THE CAR

Stop calling Sydney Sweeney ugly. Just say you don't like the ho. Like it's not hard.

@kaylah_osas Leviticus 19 19. 🤷🏾‍♂️

As a pastor daughter and a former Christian I’m here to tell you, Christianity is a scam!!

@JoeyMannarino Good for them. Draw attention to it so that everyone knows what's what.

Canada has updated the LGBTQ acronym to MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+. That stands for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, and Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual. Yes, really. I'm not joking. I wish I was.

: "Ok and your total will be $248.96" : "Great if you can just pack it up for me. I'll be on my way." : "Your guests are going to love this. This is going to make your party so awesome." : "I'm not having a party. It's just me." : "Oh, my god." 🤣