尺丨ㄖ ☔

When I'm out and about in the world, people recognize me from IG or YouTube at a 20:1 ratio to X. Outside of SF, an X user in the wild is a rare sighting which is strange given how much surface area X seems to occupy. The X paradox: where is everyone?

Updated twitter lingos: Tony stark- Iron condemn Abattoir - Dick School portal - Porn site. Pharmaceutical socks - Condom White snow ball- Fufu Cheese soup - Egusi. Micheal faraday- Charging vendor Ugu dealer- Weed dealer Spice merchant from winterfell- Pepper seller

@Philwayne09 This one is life that u are living shey

@cagiago_ @grok What about me @grok

Hey, @grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just say who it was

Austria, Germany, France, Russia, Luxembourg and even Italy have all banned GMO foods. Why are you campaigning for GMO in Africa?

When Oyinbo people invented the sentence “Are you okay?”, It was a caring sentence till it got to Naija and it became a sentence for fight.

When your girl is on her period and you're trying to have a discussion without annoying her

Big Chisom with Small Chisom 💕

Satan wey face the most high and disagreed with him eye for eye u dey tell me he will be scared when he sees ur pastors sticker on ur fridge??

A Kenyan lady who was in Abuja, Nigeria, for a conference told me how “nice” Nigerians are. That everyone called her “ma” at the hotel. Offered to help and, you know, just generally nice. In my mind (not to say Nigerian aren’t nice o), I said, “I definitely like to hear from this lady in a few days time to check if the energy is still the same” I think two days or so later, she was asking me if people just generally feel comfortable begging here. That everyone wanted her to give them something. Starting with the hotel staff, then at malls and restaurants. I didn’t tell her o, but in mind I just SMH. “Now you’re talking.” “You were not informed.” It’s sad what mass poverty has done to us. Nigerians can show anyone politeness as long as you “look” like you can help them, until they are very certain you are not their “destiny helper” then you will know that there’s a difference between “Oga” and “Oga.”

Before you say it’s a format… I witnessed him do this in Ojukwu’s burial in 2012 and also in Chinua Achebe’s burial in 2013. I was covering for Know Enugu magazine and Connect Africa Magazine respectively. Yup! He was a seating governor at the time!

One day you’ll meet someone who’s more fascinating than your partner, get ready to fight your own self and be content with what you have. Many people have lost this battle.

@Feeztm 😂😂😂

Selena Gomez probably auditioned to be on that Rema song As a Benin boy, he definitely had selena tested.

@Boy_TwiTwi Angle 90

Dear Lagos, I’ll be back soon. 🇳🇬

“Men can't have a good time without any female being involved” 🤡🤡