A Cowling 🟢⚪️🔴🦕

@PhilipJFry3024 @JeremiahDJohns The rape was too rapey?

@JeremiahDJohns I saw someone complain about their girlfriend initiating sex with them while they were sleeping

What's the most "oh no, my steak too juicy, my lobster too buttery" complaint you see people make?

@Winter78150463 @rugbycath Yeah… you don’t though, do you?

@rugbycath I know of a school that have put litter trays in the bathroom for these individuals

A neighbours son is about to attend high school in West Lothian. It's been explained to the parents that one of the children identifies as a cat. The school is indulging this nonsense. I truly despair for our future.

@lawes7878 @jldent1993 @sainsburys Surely at self service it should get flagged as the wrong weight for the scanned product?

@jldent1993 @sainsburys They check these things at manned tills but if it's like our Sainsbury's self service is the only option unless you can find someone and ask them to open a till! Hope you get a refund for what's missing

When you get home open the box and 4 of your eggs are missing. I normally check in the store but didn’t this morning 🙈 @sainsburys

@jldent1993 @sainsburys How did you not notice the weird weight distribution?

@moleatthedoor @TheParty1sOver Robin Ince due to personal views From the Monkey Cage did self-recuse, On his subsequent tour He found ticket sales poor Which certainly gave him the blues.

@TheParty1sOver Robin’s show will be full of delights Full of Ince’s comedic soundbites Still tickets to buy For watching paint dry It’ll be just like getting Last Rites 😉😬

What a shame. Never mind.

@TheParty1sOver @WingsScotland

@Poppy_yyyyyyyy Electric fence inside the boundary to keep them out of hand feeding distance.

Two weeks after I’ve bought two ponies to graze a nature reserve I bought and it turns out that I’ve essentially opened a petting zoo. Everyone EVERYONE is feeding them despite the signs and they are eating no grass. The campsite owner is advertising my ponies as a selling point for his campsite.

@Lorol335513 @0ddette And OP is saying that they likely weren’t *tgat* colourful because the brighter colours would be an underpainted layer to add depth and subtlety to a top layer.

@0ddette Because the one doing the painting aren’t artist, they are HISTORIANS. It’s not to say the paintings looked like this, it’s just to roughly give an idea of how colorful they were

Polychromy is archaeologists finding traces of the underpainting layer and then pretending finely crafted sculptures were handed to pre-schoolers to paint by number. They even get frustrated by how much “red hair” they find- red is used in underpainting to build warmth for brown.

@Gr3ant @LissaKEvans One drink *minimum* is the exact opposite of temperance.

@LissaKEvans One drink, that’s not a book clue. That’s a temperance meeting.

I was very surprised (tho delighted) that the 'One Drink Minimum Bookclub of Princeton' wanted to feature my book about producing Father Ted in one of their online meetings. But what's this in the email? A *submission* fee? For me to pay? Gosh, could it possibly be...a scam?

@BpdLion If conditions in the fields and fulfilment centres aren’t good enough for the native population why are they fit for migrants to ‘slave’ in? You seem to be actively advocating for an underclasss. 2/2

@BpdLion I picked potatoes as a kid (47 years ago). I got paid £9 per day, plus any spuds I could glean from previously picked areas at lunchtime. It was my first experience of paid employment, I saw other kids get sacked for poor work. None of that’s a bad experience. 1/2

I've been thinking, what's the actual end goal for people to who vote Reform? Once they get rid of all the immigrants, will they offer up their sons and daughters to pick potatoes all day for minimum wage? Work in the takeaway shops? Slave away In Amazon distribution centres?

@FrankLf24460 @DukeofViseu @0Calamity @MMR_Holihead Why are you jumping to it being previous neglect? The guys on the scaffie wagon don’t miss a street due to a puncture because the councillor is rubbish.

@DukeofViseu @0Calamity @MMR_Holihead These morons think they are creating work, what they are doing is highlighting previous neglect, they shoukd be glad for a change

Hahahahah! Just seen this on FB: ---- Have you found yourself in the hideous position of having a Reform councillor? Here’s how you can help your brand new councillor settle into local government properly: email them this week with an actual council problem to solve. Got rubbish piling up? Email them. Bus vanished from existence? Email them. Streetlights dead? Email them. Care package delayed? Email them. Pavement like the Somme? Email them. Send them in by the hundred. Make sure they’re made very clear on what their job is. Being a councillor is not standing in front of the Union flag shouting about dinghies on GB News. It’s reading committee papers at midnight, attending meetings nobody enjoys, holding surgeries in church halls, and dealing with the endlessly glamorous world of drains, social care budgets and recycling disputes. Welcome to local government. The boats are in Kent. The bins are in your ward. The email address for your ward councillor can be found on your local council website as soon as it’s updated. Feel free to copy and paste to share wider.

@The_AngloSaxon @0Calamity The kind of problems councillors help constituents with are, like time, an ever rolling stream. New problems arise daily, OP is talking about asking them to deal with issues as they arise.

@0Calamity So you're going to ask them to do their job? And you recognise that previous councils haven't done it. This isn't the win you think it is.

@ebdon_nick @0Calamity Reform wanted your votes because they didn’t think their predecessors were good enough at the job, surely? I’m certain they’ll be delighted to help.

@0Calamity Wait are these all the problems new reform councillors are walking into?? Who were their predecessors and what the fuck were they doing?? 😂 DONT copy and paste unless you want to look like an own goal scoring cretin !!

@0Calamity And in the devolved nations, there are lots of things a List MSP can help you with, and *every* region has Reform MSPs for you to engage with. Help them help you get the help you deserve.

@Halalcoholism Having acquired any individual piece of knowledge isn’t really a function of high IQ.

You have to have a particularly high IQ (or just be Vietnamese) to appreciate this joke because most people don’t know it’s pronounced like that

@bo66ie29 Clients

Dear Architects, what’s preventing you from designing new builds that look like this?

@AhnunM @readswithravi A kindle that is just an e-reader rather than a kindle Fire, doesn’t have notifications or apps. I like it for the ease of reading in bed after my partner is asleep and I don’t want to disturb him by having a lamp on. And it fits in my pocket or handbag.

@readswithravi Recently switched back for the most part. So much better especially before bed. No notifications, apps, just you and the words building the stories in your mind.

Who still sits down and reads an actual physical book?

@sarahhepola A real estate agent who’s gonna leave it all behind one day and write the great American novel from a cottage in Catalina.

Realize this isn’t the most pressing issue, but when Billy Joel sings in “Piano Man” that someone is a “real-estate novelist” —- what is that?

@GBPolitcs And that’s how you grow new Reform voters.

🚨NEW: Scottish FM John Swinney says he will invite all party leaders except Reform in to St Andrews House for talks about post-election priorities