Matthew Thornton

@Triplication_ What was your strategy, I can barely make it close to the fight without an S300 skull fucking me

Got my bombers. Thank god Gaijin screwed up the game mode on the last important marker than the beginning.

@xAsamoahx There are WW2 veteran interviews just like this. ‘They never taught us to swim so we had to fight harder to avoid learning how to swim’

The navy should actively recruit people who cannot swim because they will be much more dedicated to defending a ship

@DairyQueen Went today, got the free cone and one for my girlfriend. Guy working the counter was rude to the gentleman in front of us. Ridiculous.

Free Cone Day is here! Come celebrate with us at a DQ location on today by getting a FREE small vanilla cone 🍦

@Breaking911 Lmao so that’s why they finally reached out to me about a job offer.

Nearly 10% or 2,700 TSA officers across the country called in sick Tuesday -ABC

@TonyGonzales4TX Let it be noted that A) Tony lost the primary B) Trump rescinded his endorsement

Thank you President Trump and all those #TX23 constituents that support our campaign. Onward to a victorious May.

@georgesantos @CurtisSliwa You should have never received a presidential pardon.

Fuck you @CurtisSliwa I HATE YOU, your dumb wife, that stupid Beret of yours and all your fucking cats!

@AWSmith8189 @JonesyFrotting If they do give me the Randy Poop emote

@JonesyFrotting Or it’ll just be Randy to add along the other cartoon Dad’s

For the record... I'm never going to believe a word Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, or Dan Bongino says ever again. Who else?

@icednini Tech and the Tactical Droid have been arguing over statistics since they arrived.

i need everyone to come up with bloopers of what happened before this picture was snapped

@real_lord_miles @upmoly @DanyyelTR Bro just gave his phone number and email to a Pakistani… might wanna work on your OPSEC before Haiti.

@upmoly @DanyyelTR They say that the AirPods are lost or stolen and they provide my phone number and email to the user to give it back to me

I know exactly what slum house my AirPods are in. Pakistan thief, IM COMING FOR YOU! I WILL GET MY AIRPOD PROS BACK!

@ChrisVanHollen Did you just spend thousands of taxpayer dollars to go to San Salvador just to be turned away?

I just landed in San Salvador a little while ago, and I look forward to meeting with the team at the U.S. embassy to discuss the release of Mr. Abrego Garcia. I also hope to meet with Salvadoran officials and with Kilmar himself. He was illegally abducted and needs to come home.

@Sam_the_gray @5149jamesli The Bitcoin Mine bot becomes sentient and the first thing the government does is tax it.

@5149jamesli Robots are definitely going to be paying taxes before 2300.

Funny, and also accurate. 🤣🤣🤣

@DodsonJaco60496 @shitpost_2049 I thought that shit was real because as a kid there was an ad for the Xbox 720 in the movie Real Steel.

@shitpost_2049 Remember the “Xbox 720” lmao

@FilmsFallout I like that this game has a wider selection of heavy weapons as opposed to Fallout 4.

Alright! Fallout 76 hot takes! Let’s hear em

@LeadingReport Dude brought a cane as his prop of opposition, anyone who reads history knows that Al Green is the same as democrats from the 1850s

BREAKING: Rep. Al Green is reportedly drafting articles of impeachment after being removed from the chamber, per Fox.

@funder A president so good he only got 1 term 🤣

Who else agrees Joe Biden was a better president than Trump will ever be? By far. Not even close. #DontDefundPublicSchools

Breaking: A Black Bar Visited Epstein Island Hundreds Of Times buff.ly/3RwyhXu

@JudiciaryGOP This is unacceptable, Children were raped, the American People want justice, and you think Rickrolling us is acceptable?

BREAKING: FBI whistleblower confirms to journalist Michael Shellenberger that FBI employees were destroying evidence related to Jeffrey Epstein files and JFK assassination.

@interesting_aIl Didn’t even drop the smoke 💯

Floorman working oil rig