Stve

This is not ok!

Name one

EMPLOYEE NOTICE Relocated 😂😂 Due to the current financial situation caused by the present actions in Iran and impact on the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your TD, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to American actions, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. 🤣🤣🤣

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You fucking don't!"..

Warning: Dark Humour Ahead... "A cure for Dave?" Dave is sitting in his doctor's office waiting for his test results. Doc: Well, Dave. I'm sorry, but your tests say that you have a rare disease and it's 100% fatal. Dave: Isn't there ANYTHING we can do to stop it? Doc: Uh, there is this spa down the road that has these special medicinal mud baths. You can try that. Dave: Will it cure me or at least give me more time?? Doc: No, but it WILL get you used to being covered in dirt.