Blair/Malcolm

Wow I did not make her say this at all I didn’t tell her to say this at all wow thank you everyone who made this possible

going straight to bathroom to shit as soon as i walk into gym

Happy for her transition

The moving fur in Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) was not a mistake. Wes Anderson embraced the hand-made feel, letting the animators’ touch stay visible in every frame.

@icbmacy You still did amazing, helped me stay motivated, and picked up whatever slack I dropped

@Way2bugout We put in 50/50 boy don’t discredit yourself, you did amazing.

Aubrey helped me move (did most of the work) and for some reason IM exhausted.

i was born to smoke weed and eat pussy

“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!” Bank teller on floor: what? “Heat rises!” (I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)

i’m fucking gay

happy 27th anniversary to spongebob squarepants 💛

this might genuinely be the funniest tweet anyone has ever made

Feeling weird. Need an invincibility cloak, that’d be chill.

if my friends wear boring shit to my funeral i'm freaking out. I need asses to be out. You're allowed to show nipple and I ENCOURAGE bulge.

fun fact: 가슴이 D컵 이상이면 뇌보다 가슴이 더 무겁다 감사합니다

OCD intrusive thoughts are kind of like having the Impractical Jokers in your ear but they are evil & want you to die

I love Aubrey and can’t wait to marry her, but she watches such boring YouTube videos.

Death cab for cutie mention in invincible. I’m tweaking the fuck out.

moms text you like “please call ASAP” and then you call and they’re like “hello i am your mom”

Threw up and they sent me home (angrily, Of course)

This is the worst fucking day of work ever. My boss is yelling at everyone and yelled at me when I said I was gonna throw up and had to go to the bathroom

Happy 4/20 to all who celebrate