nia

Im at the age when asked “what’s the bandage on your neck” and the response is… “it’s SALONPAS.”

Me calling the church for my papers to be a godparent: Hi Ms. (Insert name here)… Secretary: NEN. She passed away 4 years ago. The lord always calls us home…and back to the faith. DANGGGGG AUNTIE! Lmfao

Headline writers not messing about

Same girl, same. Sincerely, An American from Guam, “A place where America’s Day begins but our votes DON’T COUNT”

Word of the day is ‘recrudescence’ (17th century): the return of something terrible after a time of reprieve.

Goodbye, America. Never speak to Me again.

Ladies—if you can’t handle the way you eat KADU, he ain’t worth the cuddle. Lol

Happy Hour is now me and my brother sitting on the couch in complete silence after an exhausting day trying to regain enough strength to finish said day.

You know it’s been a gnarly year when you totally forgot Typhoon Mawar happened…and your twitter…I mean, X account existed.

Fun fact: iPhone face recognition works with me in glasses but not with charcoal face mask 😂

@chrisrenaud33 Cause you forgot your allegra on Guam hun

Drove from Pittsburgh to Chicago today. When I got near Cleveland I started sneezing uncontrollably. Guess this Yinzer is allergic to that place.

Why we never got a final season of Mindhunter is my Roman Empire.

To think I thought MAYBE GPA was rolling power outages to help us save on our electricity bills. BUT NOW they want to increase power rates due to the price of fuel. lanyat—just tell me you want me to be homeless already.

There’s a twisted sense of satisfaction when going back and forth with customer service and then they finally realize Guam is part of the United States.

@WanderinMyracle Yes and that’s based on lived experience

@_niamango Or overheard my friends’ and my voice notes on WhatApps.

One of my newest fears is my AirPods randomly disconnecting and everyone in the office hears and judges my music choices

High expectations remain the standard.

So like sure to speed cameras but RED LIGHT CAMERAS THO…we could fix ALL the public schools with tho tickets lol

🗣️🗣️🗣️ Not yet!!!! I’ll allow it for my Filipino lambs though! 🐑❤️ (I don’t make the rules! 🤷‍♀️)

@feroshus_ When rainy says “thank you mom!” After inheriting everything in your closet lol