CD

Look you guys, I know everything is scary and no one can afford anything but you have to understand…a couple years ago some chickens got sick and eggs got a little expensive so we simply had no other choice than to let a rapist tank the global economy. You guy get it, right?

All thanks to the dumbest piles of shit you’ve ever interacted with

I just tried to fast track a bill to pay TSA workers NOW. Sadly, Republicans in DC keep blocking it. We all agree that TSA should be paid so what is the hold up? This is insanity.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

I was told “the economy is booming” by people who voted for an orange pedophile

Republicans control all 3 branches of government. Democrats introduced 7 bills to fund TSA. Each one was blocked by Republicans.

"Oh I thought I heard them call out my group"🙄

@StarTribune MORON ALERT

Minnesota Senate candidate suggests Americans skip Starbucks to save on gas startribune.com/minnesota-sena…

Day 1: it's going to take a couple of days Day 20: ok we need 200 billion dollars

0.00196% of NCAA athletes are transgender. 0.0000001% of votes come from undocumented immigrants. This is what MAGA obsesses over.

Afroman's defamation victory is a win for all Americans who cherish the right to cuck the police in song

Boomers after voting to send another trillion to Israel while their grandchildren can’t afford basic goods

What was the purpose of DOGE???

BREAKING: The Dow Jones is on pace for its worst month since 2022. There's only one person that is to blame for that.

Would you rather spend $200 billion to bomb Iran or…? A: give every teacher in America a $62,500 bonus B: provide downpayment assistance for 20 million young families C: build 1,300 rural hospitals

The TSA lines are long bc of the partial government shutdown which is bc Republicans keep trying to give ICE more money so this isn’t Democrats YOU’RE IN LINE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO PAY ICE MORE MONEY AND TSA WORKERS AREN’T GETTING THEIR CHECKS

SIR. WE ARE TIRED OF WINNING. NO MORE PLEASE.

Legitimately the coolest thing anyone has ever done. Afroman is my hero.

Afroman is a HERO

@theficouple Every car plummets in value. A car is something u need. If u need another car avoiding maintenance hassle sounds worth it

When you bought the $50,000 Tesla Model Y to save on gas & maintenance. Then you learned: - It loses 20-35% of its value by year 3 - It loses 55-58% of its value by year 5 So by year 5 you lost $35,000+ of value? ....Congrats on saving ~$1,000/yr on gas.