deg

i love to be a retard and constantly thinking about retarded things such as releasing my sons dairy cow isopods all over the neighborhood and seeing people be like what the h

i truely believe that im retarded

the woman would be a hot babe not a nerdy dweeb with glasses. makes it way worse

i thought of a great gag for a sitcom. a man and woman are playing chess at a cafe. the woman moves and piece and says checkmate. the man gestures to the waitress and loudly exclaims “check please!”

@Pumpi91 your wife divorced you

Me watching the rumble - knowing one of my favorite wrestlers of all time is coming to my favorite promotion.

also thinking about smelling a huge butt

thinking about the time i made a pot roast and called myself epic pot roast man for weeks

@Pumpi91 high quality analysis pumpi. thank you

1 for 7 Caleb: needs to improve

my italian husband is a wizard in the kitchen. and le bedroom!!

looking for loads

im supposed to play with my trucks

if your in the addams family you like weird things such as getting hurt, tortured or even getting killed.

@JustFlexin show me the men and show me the poop.

@degg Anecdotal evidence should serve if the sample size is large enough imo

it’s generally accepted that big fat guys and people with big butts make larger smellier poops but there is zero statistical evidence to back this up

im fucking BUILT

a guy should call his penis the blowzone layer. i should do it quickly

everything that’s white is cum in my book. “what about milk?” how about a long walk off a short pier lil queef?

most of my routine (stand up) is based on crab grass and a little bit on tools. if its a thing of the past im kind of screwed.

@whitesox i celebrate women every day. without them there would be no cookies.

Celebrating Women's Equality Night at Rate Field! 🫶

crab grass was a big deal when i was growing up. don’t hear about it much now though. don’t see many patches. is crab grass still a thing?