𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒔 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝑼𝒑𝒕𝒐𝒏.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ "𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒙𝒆𝒅" ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ “𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑰 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒌𝒆, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝑰 𝒓𝒖𝒏. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒎 𝑰?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

i got dirt on my name , six feet in the ground . i got people in my past , try bringin’ me down .

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ "𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝒔𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏' 𝒕𝒉е 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒚" ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓪 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓭. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

you won't kill me ? / go . / fabulous . / unless i reconsider . / not fabulous .

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ "𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

but when i die， i want it to hurt. i want to get beaten up. i want to hold on until i'm thrown off and everything ends. until that happens， i want to hope again. and i want it to hurt. because that means it meant something.

i regret nothing!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀"𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚" ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

another mission ? good . anything to keep me awake .

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ “𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆, 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ "𝑶𝒃𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 - 𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆...𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔" ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒈𝒖𝒚. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒈𝒖𝒚." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

to him, it was a dream worth dying for. and he did.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ 𝑰𝒕’𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ "𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

my pain is valid even when people make me feel like it isn't. even when i make myself feel like it isn't.

"𝑨 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝑾𝒉𝒐'𝒔 𝑼𝒏𝒂𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒅, 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒖𝒚 𝑾𝒉𝒐'𝒔 𝑺𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑫𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝑹𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑨𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒂𝒚"