₊⊹ kristen 🪐 .𖥔 ݁ ˖

— kris statlander 🌠 ꒰ the galaxy's greatest alien .ᐟ ꒱ ⤷ 18+ MDNI ˎˊ˗ ⤷ [N]SFW ˎˊ˗ ⤷ bisexual, nonbinary (masc or fem parts) ˎˊ˗ ⤷ 65% sub, 35% dom ˎˊ˗ ⤷ ships w/ chem ˎˊ˗ dms open! - more info below

beginning to suspect my telepathic messages are going straight to spam

drywall necessarily implies the existence of wetwall

a little black mold exposure never hurt nobody

// i lived bitch

* . 🌟 * . * 🚀 * . . 🪐 * . * 🌌 * . * . . * . ✨ . * . 🌍 . * * . * 🌕 . * * . * . *⭐️ * . * 🌠

I DIRECTLY receive the jerk signals from outer space. YOU do not

the feminine urge to walk around in a nightgown holding a candlestick

who up with their unidentified anomalous phenomena

the first dude to slip on a banana peel was probably like holy shit

here it’s spring over and over and over again

They’re inventing a new way to harm my nervous system

microwaving rocks to reveal their secrets

@ca11m3m1n3 oh okay. i'll try again later!

@glorplander um i dont think-

kris statlander

@ca11m3m1n3 do u know who i can electrocute? i want to statics people

@glorplander SCIENCETITS!!!!

@ca11m3m1n3 SCIENCETITS!

@glorplander ALIENS

feeling very maternal towards every exhausted bee i pass

you are barking up the Right tree. i love you

by artist Stuart Dunkel.

My abuse goblin escaped